Let's be real about some things. Sooner or later, everyone on the World Race starts to question themselves about coming on this trip. I was accepted to do this route in November of 2011. It's been one year. A year that my life has revolved around preparing for and enduring this crazy life… And I'm only halfway done with the trip.
Thoughts begin to run through my head almost on a daily basis.
"Why did I sign up for this??"
"Do I really have 5 months left?"
"I'm tired of being told I can't have a relationship."
"What in the world am I going to do when I get home?"
"I'm so sick of living out of a backpack…"
And then you start getting the "I can't wait…" thoughts.
"I can't wait to go to Zaxby's again."
"I can't wait to go to Disney World next summer."
"I can't wait to have my fluffy pillow again."
"I can't wait to go to the movies."
"I can't wait to look at Pinterest whenever I want."
"I can't wait to curl my hair and wear high heels again."
I mean, on some days, the list can go on and on.
I'm 2 weeks away from being halfway done with the race.
It's like it's halftime of a basketball game. The score is tied, but our team is hanging our heads a bit because we're starting to get worn down. We've got two quarters left and the opposing team is looking strong.
Month 5 in Tanzania was a tough month. Really tough. Like it legitimately started to mess with me. Please don't get me wrong, we had a WONDERFUL contact with a beautiful family who loved us and cared for us all month. Ministry was great. It was a typical month of ministry in Africa for us. We spent each day visiting a new school or orphanage to teach them about God and just love on them, we went to a remote village to help build a church, we went door to door to talk and pray with strangers, and we were involved with a sweet, small church that embraced each and every one of us.
But we got hit really hard physically. Cassie and Josh got feverish for a few days, and Adam had a few days of Malaria and a few days of Typhoid. But the hardest hit was on our team leader, Liz. On our bus to Tanzania, Liz became very ill. At this point, we already knew she had contracted malaria, but we didn't realize how severe it was. The bus ride was long and incredibly painful for her. So painful that me, Adam and Liz had to extend our bus ride to Dar es Salaam, the capital of Tanzania, to seek medical attention for Liz.
We had a long, long night.
Lets just say that medical care overseas does not quite equate to medical care in America. I'd take a PriMed in Montgomery over almost any hospital I've seen so far on this trip. The Lord knows the number of medical missionaries needs to increase, but that's another issue.
So anyways, we slept in the hospital that night for free at Liz's bedside. The doctors prescribed another bag full of medicine, and we were on our way back to our new home in Morogoro.
Liz got better… For a little while. About two weeks went by and then she took a turn for the worse. She was unable to keep any food down for days, and was immediately dehydrated to the extreme. We took her to clinics in Morogoro for intravenous fluids and more testing. The results came back with a positive for Malaria, and a positive for Typhoid.
Bless her heart.
To keep a long story short, Liz experienced her own living Hell. From sketchy conditions and rude nurses, to extreme pain and nausea, Liz had never been so miserable in her life.
After many days of prayer, she decided it was time to go home.
My world was rocked. I hadn't cried so much during the entire Race as I had on that one night. I was losing the one person who had been with me every single day of this trip. She was our team leader for the past two months and she now knew me better than any other person on our squad.
And now she was going home.
Don't get me wrong, I was SO happy for her. Our whole team was. It was time for her to finally get well again and she was going home to be cared for by her loved ones. AND she was getting home in time for Thanksgiving leftovers!!
But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous. She was going home to be with her family. She was going home to be united with her handsome fella… her future hubby 😉 She was going home to new outfits and hair supplies. She was going home to Zaxby's and fluffy pillows. (She may not find a Zaxby's in Chicago, or even care for it… But still). And she was going home for the holidays! Ahhhh how I would LOVE to be with my family for Christmas.
But her story is not my story. Her trip is not my trip.
Her basketball game is not my basketball game. And I'm desperate for a pep talk from the Coach.
God tells Liz, "Well done good and faithful servant. Go home, rest, and be at peace."
But God tells me, "Keep up the good work, kid. But you're not finished here yet. You've got seeds to plant that haven't been planted yet. You've got souls to touch that haven't heard of My Son yet. You've got children to love that have never experienced My Love before."
And he's totally right.
This trip has been hard. It's never fun being away from home. But I still know that God is using me. And the list of reasons why this trip has been a blessing FAR outweighs all the reasons I have for being at home.
During the times where I wish I could curl my hair, I would rather have a sweet African orphan running her hands through it.
During the times when I wish I could have a big juicy burger, I would rather have a plain soup that came from the only source of food that a Ukrainian mother could offer.
During the times that I wish I had my comfy bed, I would rather look at the stars of the African night sky from my tent.
During the times I get sick of my clothes and want something new to to wear, I would rather help buy new shoes for a street child.
During the times where I desire a relationship with a man, I would rather continue to nourish the love I have with Christ.
And during the times where all I want to do is cuddle with my mom for comfort and support, I know that God is cradling me into His bosom instead.
Six more months can feel like a long time every now and then… Especially on the really hard days. But I know it's not. Not in the least bit. It's going to fly by. And I truly have found joy and peace in being here. And there's no better place to be than in God's hands doing His will, because He slowly continues to mold my desires into His own desires.
And God continues to tell me, "It's halftime. Keep your head in the game. My plan for you is so much greater than you could ever imagine."
Financial update:
Only $5,000 left to raise!! Praise God! However, this month, I will have no electricity; therefore, it will be VERY difficult for me to raise support this month. I trust that God will provide, and I pray that whomever may be reading this blog right now will also pray and help pass on the word for me!
Perhaps, if you have some leftover Chrsitmas funds, this could be an early Christmas present for me since I won't be home to celebrate it myself! Just click on the link on the left hand side of this page 🙂
Love you all!! (And I promise, pictures will be coming soon!)
