Okay, I KNOW I haven't blogged in a couple months. Im genuinely so sorry for that. I just didn't have the time, or probably more truthfully, I just didn't have the urge to write what was on my heart… Just being real. But lately, I've just been itching to get my next blog up. So again, I apologize. And I promise to stay regularly updated while I'm gone, without a doubt.
So anyways, I just got back home from Greece, and here's a quick summary of how things have been: I finish some homework, I take my finals, hang out with my friends, I graduate, go to a wedding, say bye to those amazing friends, and about a week later my sweet dog of 17 years passes away. He lived a wonderful life, I can only be thankful for his love and companionship, but my heart stil hurts. So let me tell you… its definitely been a roller coaster of emotions coming back home from Greece.
But somewhere in the first few days that I got back, something awesome, yet incredibly humbling happened. All it took was the impact of two people on back-to-back days. I won't get into who they were and exactly what it was they said, but I'll tell you exactly what my heart started screaming at me…
That I'm ready to love.
Like, I'm ready to REALLY reach out and LOVE.
Not a romantic, fall-in-love-with-my-soulmate kinda love (but that'll be great one day, too).
I mean the kind of love that really seeks to touch and change lives.
I've gone through four years of college, made some incredible friends, and I know that I have loved them, and been loved in return.
But… what about those who weren't my closest friends? Did I go out of my way to serve them? To dig deep into hearts and try to help heal their hurts?
Did I desire to love my neighbor??
To be honest, I think I missed a lot of opportunities.
I think I waited around to receive love, rather than seek out opportunities to give it freely.
I know some of y'all will read this and say, "Come on Neysa, you were always nice to everyone."
I've finally realized nice doesn't exactly cut it.
It was a heartbreaking realization when I thought about how many people I was nice and helpful to, but I didn't bother to follow up and love them.
You know exactly what Im talking about. There's that person who's having a bad day. You go over and ask how they're doing. They confide in you some. You talk (or listen) for a few minutes, or maybe an hour or so. Then you tell them you're really sorry for whats goin on. You say "I'll be thinkin and prayin for ya, buddy". Give a nice pat on the shoulder, and be on your way. I'll give the benefit of doubt and assume you even prayed for them that night.
I did this so. many. times.
And unless I ran into them the next day, I rarely followed up.
Seriously? Was I so naïve to believe that was okay?
Apparently, yes.
I thought being nice was enough. Thats a negative, Ghost Rider… its not enough.
Sooo… now what?
Well, the easy thing to do is say, "I can't wait til I leave in July to love the world!!"
One of my favorite preachers (Clark Sims, for those of you from Alabama) gave an incredible illustration. I may get some of the wording wrong, but it goes a little something like this:
"A man once asked a friend of his when the best time to plant a tree was in order for it to grow big enough to give shade over his house. The man's friend said,'The best time was 30 years ago… But the next best time is right now.'"
So, I say again, now what?
I start loving like Jesus, today.
I didn't write all this to sound poetic, righteous, "holier than thou", or whatever you might be thinking. This is something I was literally crying about just few weeks ago. This is a genuine confession to those reading this that I know I need to make some heartfelt changes, and I ask that you pray for me in this. Being outwardly affectionate and emotional and touchy-feely just does NOT come naturally to me. But I know that sometimes, to reach out to someone, to love them, I NEED to be that way. I don't ever want to miss another opportunity because I can't get out of my comfort zone and love. Jesus never chickened out. I don't want to, either.
