Last
weekend I took a vacation with Jesus. I headed to the mountains, crashed
in a cabin, and explored.
I
want to share something that rose from my spirit as I lay on a giant fallen
tree across a river.
As
the rays from the sun squeezed through the treetops and warmed my body, my
spirit melted under the presence of the Lord.
I
spend much of my day in an administrative role. I write emails, answer
phone calls, research, sit in meetings, take orders, give orders, collaborate, and communicate. Honestly, I’m pretty good at it. I get stuff
done and people trust me.
But
part of me knows there is more than this productive office lifestyle. It
is not that I don’t enjoy it – I do. And it’s that enjoyment that troubles me-that
I so easily settle into a good fit and ignore that there is so much more.
God
has given me experiential glimpses of what lies at my core. I recognize that even the realization
of this is a gift. There have been times in my life where I have exercised
great courage, faith, and spiritual authority. I have seen God change
peoples lives, situations, and outcomes because I was there, ready and willing
to be used for His purposes. I have seen demon possessed people set free,
sick people healed, and callused hearts crumble because I was there.
It
is in these moments when the Christ that is rooted in me comes to the surface
and I know I have more to offer than the 9 to 5.
This
is the tension I find myself in: Knowing what is at my core, but living
the chore.
Part
of me feels responsible to create a lifestyle of great meaning and
significance-a lifestyle that exercises the deep potential God has placed in
me. I fear I am moving too slowly in life.
It
was in this place, in this tension, that the Spirit spoke to me on that fallen
tree. I felt God say that he brought me into this place and season of
life to serve as an administrator. If or when he wants me to move, he
will have no trouble getting my attention. Until then,
I am to stay put with the word the Lord has given me.
Upon
this revelation, I Immediately felt a weight lift off me. I felt relaxed
and at peace. I felt free.
Performance
left and acceptance occupied me.
It
is dangerous to put too much weight on fulfilling our call, purpose, and
destiny. There is only so much we can do, or that is ours to do.
Jesus
spent thirty years serving as a son to Joseph before he was released to
exercise his potential for three years.
It
comforts me to recognize that the greatest man to ever live only “served”-only
lived out the true calling on his life– for three short, yet unfathomably
significant years. God has a way of taking small things, even spans of
time, and multiplying them for his purposes.
My
advice to those caught in the snare of spiritual performance: relax.
God loves you.
