As an INFJ (with a mild case of OCD), I’m constantly striving, striving, striving. Contentment with my current state or place in life is not something that comes easily. It’s a strength and a weakness, really. It keeps me hungry. It usually means I crave more wisdom and knowledge. It means a lot of reading. It means bouts of wrestling with God. It means times going on a walk, and suddenly realizing I have a whole page of ideas that I somehow need to remember to write down.
But, it’s not always healthy. And, it sometimes keeps me “in school.”
One area I’ve grown in over the course of this year is to realize my striving can even sometimes get in the way of my serving—my quest for growth can even come in the way of helping others. Or, my striving can be contrived, unnecessary, un-restful, motivated by ambition. I received some sweet wisdom a few months ago: you don’t need to get more done during the day than God wants you to (re. you could be trying to be more “productive” when you’re actually, ironically, missing out on what He wants for the day).
Yes, our faith is dead without works (inherent in believing is follow-up). Yah, it’s a little hypocritical if you talk about justice and the poor, and don’t stop for the homeless guy on the street. But, at the end of the day, He doesn’t care about all of that; He wants us to hang out at his feet. He wants to be known. It doesn’t make complete sense, but it’s true. He does.
I realized that at some points in the last year it was as if I was searching for brokenness that was not there, to “get” healing or forgiveness for things that had already been signed, sealed, delivered a long time ago. Entering into his fullness is not something you have to figure out or achieve. I’m already in; I’m already an insider. “When you come to him…the fullness of Christ comes together for you” (Colossians 2, TM).
In the last month and a half I have entered into a richer peace than I’ve ever felt before. It is a peace from time spent with the Prince of Peace. It is a result of deeply internalizing truths that I’ve read and memorized about where my identity lies, who and what He calls me. Rest is not really snuggling into a warm bed when it’s cold and rainy outside, and you’re behind on sleep (though those days can be nice); rest is being awakening to really living, rest is being awakened out of listlessness and “being half dead while still alive” (Oswald Chambers, Utmost).
I have to come back to this almost every day. “Just live, Nathan.” I love asking questions, but I don’t need to question who I am. I’m well-grounded, and deeply rooted; I need to simply live who I am.
“My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you’ve been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master, now live him. You’re deeply rooted in him. You’re well-constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do you what you’ve been taught. School’s out, quit studying the subject and start living it. And let your living spill over into thanksgiving.” -Colossians 2 (TM)
The cure for restlessness is to live from this place of strength. Those of us who are strong in the faith need to step in and stand in the gap, not just do what is most convenient for us (which can even be striving for one’s own “growth). Each one of us needs to look after the good of those around us.
“Strength is for service, not status” (Romans 15, TM). Man, I love that.
What if we lived like that? We’re talking a crop of generation changers who live in “the fullness.”
