“Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition, when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” –the one and only CS Lewis
Seth Barnes talks about abandonment in his book Kingdom Journeys. He says that abandonment is about discarding weak desire—shallow community, superficial prayers, boring religion.
My fear of late is not that I will be too passionate. My fear is that I will not be passionate enough; that I will wake up and realize I missed it; that I will procrastinate what I’m supposed to do; that I’ll just “submit” and not be a co-laborer, a servant instead of a friend; that I won’t risk enough; that I won’t dream big enough; that I will settle; that I’ll live shallow dreams; that I’ll let up because I don’t know how or won’t want to abandon. That I will just talk big.
That’s not who I am.
You’ve probably noticed that it’s been a while since I last posted—lots has gone on and I hope to catch you up on some of it. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and praying and reflecting (if you couldn’t tell with the above post)…and not enough writing. I’ll try to change that. Urge me to share my thoughts, as the lack of sharing is not because of lack of material, but too much.
