I am reading “Through Painted Desserts”
for the second time.
The first time was while working at Snow Mountain
Ranch for a Navs Summer Training Program (STP) some four years ago. I learned
more that summer hanging out with the Calvin kids and the Internationals
working there than I ever did from the STP. I’m not trying to knock on the
Navs. They are a great ministry that I was apart of for four years and I fully
support them. Its just I felt a little trapped at that point in my faith. I
felt like some of the things I was hearing and seeing from the church were
legalistic and often rooted in doing rather than being. But I will forever
remember that summer as a time when the Lord was stretching and growing me. I’m
just not sure all that stretching and growing was through all of the Bible studies, worship nights, or talks
on how to “give the bridge.”
I learned about love, grace, and mercy that
summer from consuming all of Donald Miller’s books while I sat on my favorite
couch in the main lodge listening to Sufjan Stevens and Frou Frou. I used to
think words like love and grace were cliché terms used by touchy-feely
Christians to sound godlier than their peers. I was beginning to learn that these were words that
actually existed outside of theory.
I was learning how to love outside of my pocket
book Christianity.
Now I read this book for the second time and I
can’t help but feel nostalgic. It’s the second time I really have been able to
sift through all of the fluff in my life and just be.
When I first read “Through Painted Desserts� all
I could think about was taking my dad with me into the Canyon. I love hikes. I
love my dad. I figured the combination would be grand. Last year we were able
to sneak away for a week along with my brother-in-law through the Canyonlands, Grand Canyon, Mount Zion, Bryce
Canyon, and Capital Reef
National Parks.
I love when dreams are fulfilled.
I think another dream of mine has been to live
more simply. There is a part in the book were Donald finally reaches the bottom
of the canyon and it made me think of my own World Race adventure.
“I think to myself about the weight in my
pack. Last night Paul and I talked a bit about all the stuff that we carry with
us, all the weight we walked around with, emotional baggage, thinking we need
stuff we don’t need. We weren’t getting very deep or anything, but I keep
thinking about it, and how much stuff I walk around with, about how life is a
dance and God just meant for us to enjoy life, not get bogged down in sin and
religion. Just to be good, it seems like, is the point of life; be kind to
people; don’t hate anybody; forgive people because we all make mistakes. I know
there are always going to be exceptions to this kind of thinking, but it seems
like life would be better if we could just let go of the thought we need more
and more stuff to be happy, more and more of the approval of others.”
I love travel books that talk about gaining
memories and new experiences. Someone smart once said that when your dreams
become only memories you are no longer dreaming. I wanted to tell a better story
with my life than the one I was living. A fuller version of who I was.
So I left everything I own, which isn’t much
really in terms of personal things. Maybe a coffee table, vibrating couch, bed,
old school typewriter, some picture frames, and a collection of soccer pins
from when I was twelve.
I left everything I know. Everything I love.
Everyone I love. Do I miss it? More than anything.
Bit I left to change what I know, to give up comfort
in place of growth, and to add to those I love.
Life can become overwhelming without dreams. I
hope if nothing else my blogs help you to follow your dreams. I think you will
realize there is life in both dreams hoped for and dreams fulfilled.
Dream On,
Nathan William
