This process began in an orphanage in the area of Soshanguve in Pretoria, South Africa. At the end of our day with the children, a 13 year old boy came to the front and spoke. After thanking us for playing with them, he said, “I can see now, that at least there are some people who are out there loving us.” All of these children are growing up in a totally different way than I did. They are without loving parents, a safe home to live in, or regular meals. But the joy they possess is indescribable. After this day, my heart was broken. The Lord gave me such compassion for them that it seemed as if I was in their place…that I was the child living in their conditions and experiencing the same trials and hurt they are. I was hurting for them.
The Lord continued to break my heart when my teammate heard some bad news from home. Her sister and brother-in-law had been trying for a very long time to have a child. She found out she had had a miscarriage. I can’t even describe the amount of pain I was feeling for both Kelsey, and her sister, as I listened to her pour her heart out to us and show her complete brokenness. And again, the hurt I felt was as if it were me.
It was not until the last event that I realized what the Lord was doing. Another teammate of mine was struggling in his relationship with God in such a way that I had never known before. That night, as our team listened to him express his struggle, I realized what the Lord was doing. Bringing me to a place of brokenness.
There is nothing that happens to us that the Lord has not allowed. The Lord allowed all these things to happen, then gave me a glimpse of what it is like for Him when His children suffer. So you see, although it’s difficult for me, it’s also a very good thing. The Lord is shaping me into who He wants me to be. He’s definitely not finished with me yet.
