When I turned 30 over three and a half years ago, I kind of went into an “I’m still single (sigh)” funk. I mean, when I was a kid and met someone over 30, the first thought I would have was “they’re old.” So looking at my ring finger and see nothing but a knuckle and some wrinkles was hard to accept for awhile. I watched many friends get married over the years; then I would happily rejoice with them as each newborn’s cry resounded through the house. Every night I would then return to my apartment, alone. And yes, sometimes lonely. My pet bird and I never quite learned how to communicate with each other. 🙂
But then something happened; freedom. Freedom from the idea that I thought there must be something wrong with me. Freedom from the idea that God’s timing was not right. Freedom from feeling cultural pressures to get married, settle down and start a family. Freedom from loneliness; freedom from “normal.” The last two years have been the most absolutely freeing two years of my life. I have seen women in Uganda dance and sing in jubilation after being given a new Bible and a bar of soap. I have witnessed teenage girls in Kenya experience physical and emotional healing made possible only by the Lord’s magnificent, redeeming power. I have seen Light pierce the darkness in Cambodia, Thailand, India and America for people who have experienced literal hell-on-earth. I have gone through a personal time of healing and restoration after experiencing heartache and sorrow created by human brokenness.
It’s not to say these encounters couldn’t have happened had I been married; they absolutely could and can. But I know with every beat of my heart that the Lord’s timing is completely perfect and I want to live in His will now and forever. Do I hope to meet my knight in shining armor someday? Absolutely. My theory is he is like me and sort of clumsy, so he fell off his horse, broke both legs and is crawling to me. 🙂 But I am right where the Lord wants me at this moment. The King of All sees me, knows me, loves me. I am His; He never leaves me alone. My song for the moment is a solo. It’s up to the Lord whether it will become a duet.
