Question!
"Why do we, as women, make life so hard for other women when we, as women, already know how hard it is to be a woman because we are all women?"
Yes, a lot just happened there but it's a thought I've been having lately.
I'm been spending some time on Pinterest.
(ok, a LOT of time – guilty as charged)
And I see a lot of the American culture weaving through different 'quotes' or those random e-card things.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that there's so much time and energy put into making people feel insignificant, lowly, even ugly.
There's a constant echo of projecting on each e-card.
There's a common thread of defense.
It started a spark of thought in my mind.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Why, as women, do we walk around and constantly compare, constantly belittle, constantly scrutinize, until we either (a) feel better about ourselves or (b) feel like we're living in the shadow of someone else?
We all grew up with the same insecurities.
We all woke up one day in our early teens and started stressing about if we were pretty enough, thin enough, charming enough.
We all had the same crush on that boy that didn't even know we existed.
And we all went home crying when that boy decided to give a valentine to our best friend instead.
We've all been there.
And yet, instead of letting it be our common thread, we have turned it into a sword in the midst of a constant battle.
Instead of realizing that maybe he just didn't like us because he was 14 years old and liked blonde girls, we turn around and send an angry glare straight at our best friend who would, from then on out, be referred to as ' the ex best friend who stole my one true love.'
Of course, that example is a little extreme (for some of us, anyway) and it tends to settle down to a simmer as we grow older, only to boil over every so often. But overall, the concept is the same.
We look at each other and search for comparisons, for reasons why, for an explanation as to what made her a better choice than us.
And don't kid yourself, chances are that we all still do it today; even subconsciously.
But why?
What if he just didn't pick you because he genuinely wasn't interested?
What if he broke up with you because he knew in his heart that it wasn't going anywhere?
What if it just didn't work out because it wasn't suppose to?
That can be applied to everything.
Chances are that the girl that got the job or the boyfriend, didn't get it because she was prettier or smarter or had a better smile. Chances are that she received it because she was more qualified for the position or they had similar interests.
It wasn't because she was BETTER. It was because she was DIFFERENT.
Because we are all DIFFERENT.
We are all different, beautiful versions of this thing called 'women.'
Have you ever been in a butterfly garden?
There are SO many types of butterflies. There are big ones, little ones, bright blue ones, light 'greyish' and teal ones. Red, yellows, blacks, whites. So many different variations.
Does it make one better than the other?
Are they any less beautiful to look at?
Does it make them any less significant?
No.
I think that our problem as women is, is that we focus too much time looking out. We focus too much of our effort wanting to be like so and so or trying to be as thin as the models, or believing that lie:
"If only I was like _____ my life would be SO much better."
False. If only you were WHO God created you to be, than you life would be complete and you would be truly, sincerely, crazily happy.
What if we stopped comparing ourselves to each other?
What if we stopped pointing fingers and stopped wishing our lives were someone else's?
What if we stopped all of that childish thinking and we looked up.
And what if we took ALL of that energy and put it towards our relationship with God?
What if we let Him refine us all into the woman WHO we are each called to be?
And what if instead of comparing and belittling, we encouraged and befriended?
What would happen then?
Perhaps, our lives would be a wee bit easier.
Perhaps we'd find ourselves with a whole new groups of friends who understand, and who love unconditionally.
And maybe, just maybe, we'd wake up one morning and find ourselves utterly and blissfully happy because we'd be living life the way that God had intended; in community with Him and with others.
Just a thought. 🙂
<3tasha.
