Omigosh.
“What have I done?”
That thought crossed my mind about the time I was taking the walkway towards terminal one at the Fort Lauderdale airport.
I had just given my hardest goodbye and was trying to get my emotions back under control for the reunions with those who have become family over the past few months.
My back was aching from the weight of my pack and the aching in my feet was already in full swing but I took a deep breath, asked God for strength, and bounded triumphantly through the doors of the airport and into the arms of those who I have missed so dearly.
“Wait, seriously Tasha, what have you signed up?”
That thought crossed my mind as I stood in line for the bus
with the weight of my belongings on my shoulders.
It resounded through my mind as I trekked from the bus to our host church for the week.
“Maaaaaybe I made a mistake?”
That thought crossed my mind as I laid on my sleeping pad, trying to find comfort on the 1” foam.
I wanted desperately to escape in the oblivion of dreamworld but the noises around me prevented my mind from ceasing the whispers of the uncertainties.
Funny isn’t it?
How you can KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that THIS IS WHERE YOU BELONG and yet . . .
Be so uncertain as the difficulty of the challenge arises.
I’ve known for the past three months that this is where I am called to be. I’ve known that God has BIG plans for this year; that there are divine appointments that must be kept.
This I know.
But then, I have also come in contact with the physical and emotional struggles of this calling.
“You know you’re suppose to be here, and that’s what matters.”
Words of wisdom from my darling Kathryn and so very accurate.
It doesn’t matter that I’m uncomfortable or that I’m finding myself questioning the journey I’m about to partake on.
Because I’m called.
And I answered.
Being in God’s calling doesn’t mean that life is going to be easy. It doesn’t mean that you will never have a struggle with trusting for provision or having at least a mustard seed of faith.
Being in God’s calling means that you’re following where He leads. It means that you’re truly picking up your cross and going wherever you are suppose to be.
He never promised an easy life.
He never promised that your feet wouldn’t hurt or your back wouldn’t ache.
He never promised that your heart wouldn’t feel pain.
He promised love, hope, and joy.
He came to bring salvation.
And He promised that He would never leave nor forsake us.
Period.
Whether we are sitting in a Burger King taking advantage of free wi-fi with blisters on the bottom of our feet that are aching,
Or we are sitting in the comfort of our office chair, listening to our favorite station, and counting down until we get to enjoy the company of our family.
He will forever be.
As I walk through the challenge of the next year, I know He will be walking beside me (and probably carrying me for a bit) through it all.
Thank goodness for that. . . because this burden is heavy.
<3tasha
