I had to change my morning routine.
Why, you ask?
Well because I'm fasting checking my fundraising account.
But, why?!
Well, I'm glad you asked. (lol)
See, I like control.
Especially over my finances.
I've never been good at math . . except for when it concerns my bank account.
I know EXACTLY how much is in my account at any given moment. I can calculate in my sleep how I will make the ends meet for this month, week, year . .
And yes, I do give my tithe each month. First fruits are always His. But beyond that, I've never given up the control of my finances.
Why?
Because it's scary.
Money makes the world go round, even if some of us hate to admit that.
And so rewind to a few days ago . . .
I was stressing about raising $15,500.
I kept saying 'God, I know you've got this but HOW?!' . .
I so desperately wanted the answer as to HOW it's going to come in. I didn't see how.
And I still don't.
I've sold everything. And I mean, everything. The only things I own now are some clothes, keepsakes, and a few key items from my life.
I've done a rummage sale, I'm doing fundraisers, I've talked to my church . .
and I've got nothing left to bargain with.
I'm truly at a place where I can't do this without God.
And I think it's right where He wants me.
I keep stressing about the money but GET THIS . . .
God has provided a little over $5,000 in FIVE WEEKS.
That IS amazing. Say it out loud.
No, really – do it. FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS IN FIVE WEEKS.
If that's not provision, I don't know what it is.
He's got this.
And He has already proven to me that my sacrifices will be honored.
He's already proven to me that this is going to happen and this is my calling.
And I'm trying to hold steadfast to that.
But my need for control keeps creeping back in.
But GOD ,…
I need $1195 by December 18th and LORD – I still need $9,665 TOTAL.
HOW?!
"The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still" Ex. 14:14
Ok God, you've got this.
I read yesterday on my facebook newsfeed a pretty nifty thought:
"Satan knows he can't be bigger than your God. He just has to be bigger than your faith in your God."
Ouch.
The Lord, my Daddy, My King, . . is trying to teach me something.
Blind faith, and ultimate trusting.
He's already brought in the funds;
I just need to believe it.
So, heart – be still.
My daddy has this.
My God has this.
I am the daughter of the Most High.
And He will be providing for this calling HE has placed on my life.
I don't have any posessions left.
I'm living a life straight out of the Gospels;
selling my posessions and following Him.
Now . . I will work on bringing in the Harvest, with ultimate trusting that the money will be provided.
Cause He's God – and
He's bigger than anything I could ever imagine.
Thanksgiving morning I will be checking my account after a week long fast from stalking.
And I trust that my December deadline will be met, if not more.
And my control issue?
.. yea, I'm walking away from that too.
<3tasha.
