Nonchalantly, I reached into the mailbox to retrieve the letters from the day. As I'm standing there flipping through each one looking for something other than a bill (which you know you do too!), I found one from someone close to the family.
I looked at my roommate with confusion and she just mumbled something like maybe they donated?
At that thought my heart started to quicken.
Why on earth would they want to donate?
I did send them a letter, maybe they decided to look past other events?
Maybe they support me despite everything else?
I opened the envelope with a bit of hesitation. As I started to unfold the letter contained inside, it's almost as if my heart stopped beating.
It's a light green piece of tablet paper with a simple paragraph written. One that states that I should be "focusing on advancing myself" and "not worrying about the rest of the world" . . .
Ok, so they are upset that I'm leaving behind everything to go. . . that's understandable. As that sunk in my eyes reached the last line of the letter:
"We don't support a cult."
I just stared in disbelief at the statement I had just read. Tears started to silently roll down my cheeks and I retreated upstairs to the comfort of my apartment, and my sweatpants.
Funny, isn't it?
You always expect people to support you. To be there, even if they don't agree with what you might be 'preaching' … You still expect them to be around for it; To want to help you out in whatever your dream might be.
And THIS is what my heart is LONGING to do.
This is my dream,
my desire,
my DESTINY.
I had just put up a quote on my mirror the other night with my crayon markers. (No, not the thanksgiving one – a different one).
"Something most certainly is wrong if your life makes sense to unbelievers"
– Francis Chan
Well, then I'd say something most definitely is right in how I've chosen to pick up my cross and go after what He has called me to do.
My life doesn't make sense to most people.
In fact, I'd dare to say that only other World Racers really 'get it'.
I'm selling my possessions – everything that I've worked so hard for over the past however many years.
I'm walking away from an amazing job and amazing co-workers and bosses.
I'm leaving my family behind for a year, walking away from possible engagements, weddings, pregnancies; all of those irreplaceable moments in a persons life.
Then here's kicker that gets most people – I'm raising $15,500 (plus expenses) to sleep on the ground and not have a guarantee of a shower or food my body will keep down.
And I'm doing it cheerfully.
It's not their fault that they don't understand what I'm doing.
That they think I'm being silly and wasting my life.
It's not the skeptics fault that they think I've got a few bolts lose.
My life isn't suppose to make sense to unbelievers.
I've recognized that I can't be upset, hurt, or broken over what they wrote in that note.
'Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." … '
Luke 23:34
They just want better for me.
They want to see me succeed.
And they haven't realized yet that this IS me succeeding.
This IS better for me.
This is me, becoming the woman I am called to be.
And I pray that one day, they recognize that.
<3tasha
