This blog should probably begin with a disclaimer: I still love Kenya and I truly hope to come back here in the near future.
12 days ago our contact and 4 of my teammates including myself were held hostage for an hour at 1:50 in the morning as 6 men ransacked our tents while threatening us with knives and clubs.
I will be honest, I fully thought that I was going to be physically assaulted and killed. It is only by God’s grace and mercy and sovereign provision that we are still alive and physically unharmed. I knew I was vulnerable in that moment but I also knew if it was not time for me to die God would protect me. At one point we were left alone and I began praying in boldness that the Lord would shut the lion’s mouths and that He would chase these men right out of the camp. Within minutes we saw their shadows as they passed our tent in a hurry to exit the property.
I saw God’s power more that night than I saw those men’s power. Yes, they took all our “valuable” possessions but God did not allow them to harm us physically. My faith in God was made stronger in that night. I am more in love with Him than ever before.
Even though I have full faith in the Lord I do still struggle with effects of the trauma, as do my teammates. Nightmares/lack of sleep, loss of appetite, jumpiness, flashbacks, and emotional unrest are part of our daily lives right now. We have seen counselors and been reassured that this is normal. They have given us some techniques to help us heal but ultimately it takes time and God.
I ask for prayer over our team as Amanda, Jen, Liz and I heal and Hayden, Allyson and Beth support us in this time. It’s definitely a struggle for our team but I have faith that God will strengthen us in unity as a result.
Signing up for this race I expected trials, difficulties and adventure. I wanted to live my life close to Jesus. I wanted a glimpse of what Paul talks about in 2 Corinthians 4:7-9 “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” And verse 17 of the same chapter, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
I believe I have seen a glimpse of what he is talking about but in comparison to Paul’s struggles I have seen nothing. Therefore, I have no reason to doubt Christ and his faithfulness. I don’t deserve better than Paul just because I live in the 21st century. My desire is to give God all the glory for his protection and for entrusting me with a trial such as this.
Thank you Lord for your mercies and unending love.
