Change… a word that I’ve come to relish since being on the race. Being on this amazing journey I have realized how I get to the point where I’m itching for a change. By the end of one country I’m ready to move to the next and see what God is going to do there. There are so many ways that the World Race feeds my desire for change and I love it.
Team change is one way the race gives me change. If you had asked me at training camp what I thought about team change I would have said, “Awesome! That’s great, I’ll get to know more people and once we get to know each other’s ‘bad sides’ we’ll have moved right along to the next team!” Talk about encouraging my commitment issues. Then I was placed on an all-girls team and told we would probably not have team changes since we were the laboratory squad. What? Excuse me? I didn’t want to think about being on an all-girls team the WHOLE race. I wanted to be on a team with guys and I did NOT want the drama that all that estrogen could bring for 11 months. Besides, if I were going to be on a team for 11 months I would actually have to commit to loving them, growing with them, and encouraging them. They would see my horribly selfish side and my attitude. Yikes.
As the months progressed I slowly came to the point of loving each member of Team Shekinah. I would get annoyed with individuals at times and occasionally desire change because I wanted to experience something new but when it came down to it I loved my team. I knew I was safe and I knew I was committed to them for the race.
Cue team change #1. This change was easy for our team, we added the amazing Jen Goeking and it was a beautiful addition. I was so thankful that Team Shekinah didn’t lose anybody. Now, after 6 months of being on the race I was extremely attached to my team. If you all know me you know I am a very loyal person and once I’m in my whole heart is there.
We came into this debrief and rumors were flying about team change. I’m not sure if the Lord blinded my intuition or if I chose to be naïve about it but my thought process was one of “They wouldn’t change our team! We are practically perfect, we are growing together and encouraging each other so we really don’t need a change.”
The second to last day of debrief our leaders had a meeting and we all knew it had to do with team changes. Tension was high and the question, “What changes do you think they’ll make?” was hovering around like an annoying mosquito. I didn’t want to think about it so I put on the mask of being unworried and chose to ignore the question. When Allyson finally came back we all went to McDonalds to talk about it.
I was sitting there emotionally eating my fear. As Allyson shared the changes I began ferociously drinking my milkshake praying it wasn’t true. The tears threatened to spill so I kept my head down and kept right on drinking up my emotions. I made the good choice of a chocolate milkshake, nothing better than chocolate to ease some pain.
Anyway, changes made, we were losing Jenni and Jessa. My heart hurt, the tears were coming fast and furious now with the realization that I had become attached. Crap. Did that really happen? Did I really let myself look at these girls like family? How did I let myself do that with the knowledge that there could possibly be team changes? I usually do such a good job of “protecting” myself from emotional pain.
All this being said, yes I lost two amazing sisters who I love but they are going to bring so much life and encouragement to their new teams and they will grow in all new ways so I can’t be selfish. I am also gaining two totally rad new teammates, Amanda and Hayden. Our teams have worked together in the past so we were blessed to be able to actually add them to our team!
Although our team still has 5 “old” members we are a completely new team with a very different team dynamic. This means challenge and lots of room for growth. I’m so excited to see where God desires to take our—currently nameless—team these next 5 months. Please pray for us as we navigate uncharted territory.
Praise the Lord for change! Thanks Team Shekinah for the amazing memories over the past 6 months. 🙂
