I’m currently sitting in an internet café enjoying a chai tea and a banana nutella crepe. Yes, this is a very hard life. In all seriousness though, we have been so blessed this month. We have had running water that is mostly hot and wonderful American toilets. I have a tent that does not flood every time it rains, I have a wonderful sleeping pad and bag that keeps me nice and warm and comfortable.
This month of ministry has been full of joy and excitement. I became more attached to those kids than I ever thought possible. Usually kids and I don’t get super attached. I am able to just love on them and then let go but yesterday saying goodbye was so difficult. I held onto little Jimmy for almost 5 minutes not wanting to let go, not wanting to leave him like so many others have left him. I prayed and prayed as I held him that the Lord would shower him with love and comfort. I prayed that Jimmy would know that he has a Heavenly Father who will be with him forever. I let go of him to go get my things to get ready to leave and he clung to another squad mate and began to cry. My heart broke. I thought, “There’s no way I’m going to be able to do this 10 more times.” I don’t know how I have enough heart to leave in so many different places. I think that God is giving me more love and grace to share than I ever needed. I was really bummed because I became sick Thursday night with a cold so yesterday, our last day, I was feeling pretty bad and just wanted to sleep. I knew though that it was our last day of ministry and that I wanted to be able to say goodbye to the kids. I spent most of the day in a back room asleep until about the end of the day. I was upset that being sick took up most of my day and that I couldn’t spend more time with the kids but it was probably for my own sanity that I only had a short time to say goodbye.
There is no way to describe how I have felt this month except that I have been learning so much from God. It’s been so long since I have heard his voice, so long since I have listened. I have been shown how much God loves me, how much he cares for me and longs to know me. I am longing even more after God, just to know who he is, to see his face. Through the process of abandonment and of letting go of my own earthly desires I am beginning to have more of a heavenly mindset that focuses me more on who God is and just how great he is.
A picture with Walter, such a sweetheart 🙂
Little Nicole, such a diva! She was the house parents daughter. So sweet but if she didn't get her way she knew how to throw a fit!
Maylin, such a darling girl. She has been through more pain and abuse than any girl should. She was so brave in sharing her story. She is still working through a lot, I was able to hold her and comfort her as she cried frequently.
Ohhhhh Jorge. 🙂 He was so shy but always had an adorable smile on his face.
This was the volcano that we hiked last weekend. I was finally able to upload some photos up here.
Love you all!!! Next stop, Santa Ana, El Salvador!!!
