We have all heard the saying that our body is a temple and we need to take care of it. It is actually not just a saying, but wise words that God gave us in the Bible. It is in 1ST Corinthians 6:19 it says “Do you not know that your body is a holy temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God and that you are not your own?”
I know a lot of folks like to explain this verse to people with tattoos or with dieting, or working out. A lot of people take this verse and use it to focus on the physical aspects. However most people know that a temple is a holy place, it is not just a building it’s a place where holiness dwells and for a long time I was just worried about the stones on the outside and physical appearance of my temple. In one of my earlier blogs (when I say earlier I mean before I left on this adventure.) I got to share parts of my story, including my past struggles with an eating disorder, how I struggled to see myself as beautiful. As all the lies built up, it started opening this vortex that swallowed me up with thoughts of calories, exercise, what one certain food would do to my body, pretty much it started a monster. It started an eating disorder. Then once I started to meet the Lord where he wanted me, I thought I escaped it all. I thought I climbed out of the black hole that had overtaken my life.
It wasn’t until January while in Myanmar that something big happened…. I had a panic attack while looking at myself in a mirror. What is insane was I just enjoyed a plate of fries and nice warm flat white. I was enjoying everything and the second I stepped into the restroom of the café I freaked. My mind went into instant guilt mode, for the fries I decided to order to satisfy my hunger. I had to take the first step and admit to myself that I gained weight, and that I had to lose control. I realized that my temple wasn’t truly clean of the vortex that overtook my mind.
I realized my temple mind body and spirit needed some sprucing up. That physically I needed to make sure I ate some veggies and not just bread and rice and that I wasn’t just lying around because I felt better when I was a bit more active. I also made sure I reminded myself that food is something to keep my going; it’s how I am able to be active, that there is healthy way to take food back. That guilt that is associated with food, is not worth feeling, cause junk food and healthy food are both great tasting. I don’t deserve food, I need food for survival. Mentally I had to remind myself that my weight has nothing to do with serving others. Yes I have learned a lot on the race which is awesome, but that is not the sole reason I came on this trip. I came to serve that nations, my weight has nothing to do with that. I can serve no matter what I weigh, duh!! I also needed to stop accepting the lies the enemy has continuously fed me. I need to start telling myself truths and believing the truths that Lord gives me and spread that truth to others around me. I can’t tell truth if I don’t accept it. Emotionally to help fix the temple up I need to tell myself the positives, not the negatives. I grew up with negative self- talk being said all around me, and if I continue with that I can’t make a positive impact on others. I grew into accepting that negative self –talk is an ok form of thinking, which led to thinking in negatives about everything.
If the Lord has thought me something is that I should rejoice always. Hey the bible says it so it must be truth. If I can’t rejoice at the blessing the Lord has given me in the temple that I am in, how can I see the greatness of my God? I learned that there is more to a temple than the outsides. So yes the outside appearance of the temple I am in has a few rolls, and a few pimples and stretch marks, but I have a repairman that has helped repair this temple like the couple on fixer upper and all the other home fixing shows on HGTV have repaired all those houses (however this one isn’t for sale).
