I’m Fine And How Are You

I’m fine and how are you.

I’m fine and how are you.

I’m fine and how are you.

The [educated] children say this to us when we say hello and ask them how they are doing. They say it in a little weird chant, repeating it over and again in unison. They laugh and grab each other, look at us, and then repeat the words. This is what they’ve been taught to say. I’m fine and how are you.

To me, it’s equal parts cute and maddening. Cute because of the little voices, giggles, and smiles that accompany speaking English. Maddening, though, because it so poignantly demonstrates the sentiment behind that greeting. It is rote. Likely, the children don’t grasp what they are saying. They cannot give another answer except “I’m fine” simply because they haven’t the words, and they will not be able to understand any answer we give except “I’m fine”.

I asked one of our African friends if it is okay to be sad in this country, or if someone would pretend to be happy even if they were sad. He laughed and with a smile said, “No, we’re happy. If we are sad, we forget about it and smile”. Now, while this is admirable because of the incredibly dense dosage of optimism, the emotional and spiritual consequences of ignoring negative emotions cannot be neglected without consequence.

If Jesus wept (and he did, several times), then our “I’m fine and how are you” way of living is a way that we do not resemble Jesus. Politeness notwithstanding, emotional honesty is paramount to spiritual maturity. This is because of the importance of authenticity both with God and with others.

I wonder if “I’m fine and how are you” children will grow up to be “I’m fine and how are you” adults. I wonder if they will go to church on Sunday morning and shake hands, smile, and sing happy songs even when their hearts are desperate for mirth. I wonder if “I’m find and how are you” marriages and friendships will continue to be the norm. I certainly hope not. For I have seen that my Jesus likes messy, loud, untamed people can be honest and say, “I am not fine”. “I am not fine, and it’s okay if you are not fine, too”.