Preparation for the Race are officially underway!
Last week, I became a human pin cushion, getting stuck with all sorts of needles and shots and blood tests. I was even told that one of my vaccinations (Japanese encephalitis) can only be obtained at the State Department! How cool is that?? 🙂
Yesterday, I got into a fight with my mom (mostly my fault, but a fight nonetheless), and she said in an aside, "you're going on this year long trip to bring the love of God to all these people, and you can't even be nice to your own family?"
Let me begin by clarifying: I love my family and I'm normally very nice to them, but siblings fight. It's a fact of nature. And she wasn't saying this in a completely serious vein, but it really struck home.
I realized, hours later as I sat contemplating the whole thing, that the Race is a bit of a sore subject. I realize I'm not perfect, I'm nowhere near perfectly equipped or perfectly mature. I'm scared that I'm going to say the wrong thing or get sick or lost or left behind or ignored or not liked. I'm scared that while I'm gone for a year I'm going to miss really important things, like weddings and funerals and graduations and moments.
I think deep down, the reality of what I've done- given away a year of my life to go on a dangerous trek around the world- is starting to set in.
But now it's time for me to move beyond the fear, "for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." (2 Timothy 1:7)
It's time for me to trust that God has a plan for this year, for this trip, for the people on the field and those left at home, for me, for my team, for all of the people we'll be meeting and missing. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)
Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 1:26-31)
There's no reason for me to be afraid, for I have the Father's power in me. I don't have to worry, for I've been granted the Holy Spirit's peace. Christ has redeemed my past, present and future, and even if it doesn't always make sense, I know that He is guiding my steps.
Please keep me in your prayers this week. I'm getting more shots, I'm getting ready to lead a bunch of high school girls at a church camp and I'm clearly dealing with some doubts of my own. Pray that the Lord would use me despite these fears, and that the preparations would continue to go smoothly.
