I have no idea what I expect out of this trip.
I think my initial interest was in the idea of seeing how the world works. I've wanted to be able to help for a while, but as a very well intentioned professor told me, I can't just barge into another country, set up an orphanage my way, and expect it to be a success.
His recommendation? Take more classes on cultural awareness.
So in a sense, I suppose I'm expecting to be able to better understand different cultures and see how the Lord can use me in places far outside of my comfort zone.
I hope to grow. I want to push past the boundaries of my faith that I seem to keep bumping up against. I want to really live into everything that God has planned for me, and I just keep feeling this sense that the life I'm living isn't all of it.
I'd love to develop real friendships. This is not to say in any way that I don't have friends now- I do, they're wonderful and I love them. There are few if any people in my life whom I dislike (get into tiffs with? Sure. Dislike? Not particularly). But I want to make friends with people who have a heart like mine, who feel that, though upper class America is a wonderful place, there HAS to be something more, and they're not going to rest until God reveals it to them, just as Jacob wrestled with God into the early hours of the morning.
I think I'm expecting to come back seriously changed, but I'm not quite sure how.
I do expect to be pushed, to laugh and cry and yell and scream and whisper long into the night. I expect that everything I've ever known will be turned on its head, and that nothing will ever be the same. I expect that I'm going to work harder and longer and with more dedication than I may ever have worked in my life, but I'm expecting an immense sense of satisfaction at the end of the day, knowing that I've given the Lord my all, and it's now His turn to open up the gates of heaven and work miracles. I'm expecting to rely the power of prayer and presence of my team, even when I don't know how. Most importantly, I'm expecting God to show up in real and mighty ways, to show His glory for generations to come.
How all of this will happen isn't too important, but I covet any prayer you send heavenwards, knowing that the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective (James 5:16), and knowing that none of these expectations will happen without God's hand on this ministry.
