It’s been nearly 2 months since I’ve been accepted to go on the world race.
So… why did it take 2 months to write my first blog entry?
Because these past 2 months have probably been the most confusing, weird, unclear period of my life. As you all know I am 24 years old, taking a year “off” to go on the world race. So what’s the big deal?
I am 24. I should be getting ready to go to grad school, start my future career, paying off my loans, dating to get married before I turn 30 (not that I can plan this or anything.. haha), & stay putt to figure out my life. SOO many things have been clouding my decision, and it didn’t help that some of the people closest to me were even unsure about my choice. My biggest life supporters were challenging me to rethink my decision & this completely threw me off guard. My mind & heart was in complete chaos. Maybe … this isn’t what God wants. I shouldn’t go… I could do all this here. Is this mission program really a cult? What the heck am I doing… why are people telling me not to go. Why does staying in San Diego sound so … exciting? No… its the devil trying to get a foothold. It’s so expensive! & so the internal battle began. I’ve never been so 50/50 on a decision. STRESSS. and if you know me… I NEVER STRESS.
There were many many moments in the past two months where I was SO SURE that I wasn’t going to go. That I was going to move into my little apartment, finally get my own room with my new imac, & quit my job. I was going to completely immerse myself in my church, and start serving in every way possible. I was thinking of ways to serve the community of San Diego & how I could simply do missions here. I was excited to go back to school to get my associates in child care so that I can finally start working in preschools. I had it all planned out… But still my heart ached to go…
To go see the nations.
To go and serve the orphans and widows.
To go and help with church planting.
To go and encourage other Christians around the world.
To go and share the gospel in remote areas.
To go and meet people who are trafficked & tell them that there is hope in Christ.
To physically be present to pray over the country & the people.
After numerous prayers & wrestling between my heart, mind, & people…. I have decided to go.
& God comforted me in so many ways.
ONE being that… The week I committed to go, the message that Sunday was being 100% sent (a mission sermon). It might sound cray, but I think God saved that message to comfort me in my decision to go. After that, missionaries that my church supports came to share their testimonies and their ministries that they were doing. (how can I not get excited) I was also able to do a mercy event with my church where I had the chance to serve the girls of San Diego who were victims of sex trafficking (which I will write more about later). Through this event, not only did my desire to pray for my community become stronger, but thinking about going to Thailand and doing this for a WHOLE month excited me & reminded me that there was so much brokenness in this world. It’s as if God was giving me a glimpse of how my life may look like next year.
It’s still hard at times thinking that people are questioning my motives. (Being a people pleaser sucks)
BUT I am reminded that, as long as I live for Him, through Him, and to Him, all is well.
Please start praying for me!
My journey has already begun, & if you would like to support me in anyway please sign my google doc!
I have sent out my first batch of support letters (more like 5…), but it’ll take me a while getting around to everyone. So for the time being, please pray that God will start equipping me now in everyway possible.
If you would like to support me financially, there should be a link on the lower right hand corner (?!)
I’ll do my best to keep this blog alive. I’m pretty self conscious about my writing, but i‘ll do my best to be completely transparent and share my experience with my walk with God during this time period.
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1taYt67I7NcUIIq7VQDMLlk8smF9iie3m5a2Z16f4QeQ/viewform?usp=send_form
