Lost. If there is one word to describe me right now it would be LOST. I am not really sure where my emotional state is, I am not really sure where my next place of residence will be, and I am not really moving forward in my relationship with God. I just feel like I’m being forced to move forward when all I want to do it sit still, listen, wait, and try to regain the closeness I had with the Lord a month ago before I try to move forward.
I knew I wanted to go to Project Searchlight while I was still on the field, simply to see my squad mates again. However, after being home I simply didn’t want to go; I needed to go. My expectations for Project Searchlight were to get all these answers to the questions I’ve been asking God and to get a stepping stone to land on now that I’m home. All these things did not necessarily happen, but I found the necessary steps to take to get those things.
Project Searchlight has given me, if nothing else, HOPE. Hope for a future in ministry, hope for a relationship with God that will transform my life even more than it has, hope for all this craziness I am feeling to eventually just become a part of me and to help push me forward in the Kingdom of God.
Project Searchlight has been refreshing in many ways. It is nice to be able to be asked questions other than ‘what is your favorite country.’ It is refreshing to be among my squad family again. It is life bringing to get guidance and discipleship again from former squad leaders and mentors. Project searchlight brings hope, guidance, clarity, restoration, healing, freedom, and a fresh start and perspective on how to move forward after this thing we call the Race.
We are all searching for something. We are all searching for that thing that makes us feel like we are needed or have purpose. We are all searching for the light at the end of the tunnel. That light is Jesus. So come…search for and find the light that God wants you to shine to the world. Project Searchlight.
