“There is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it is sent away.”
I have read in blogs from other racers that month 7 was their hardest. Why? Because you are over half way to the end. You have hit the point where you are tired from 5 or 6 days of ministry, debriefs, feedback, community living, traveling every month for days, all the things. You are just tired.
I can honestly say I have hit that point. No matter how much sleep I get at night I still wake up tired. I have hit a point where going to ministry is not always exciting for me. Living with the same people 24/7 is exhausting. Having no private space is overwhelming. I have all these crazy thoughts in my head and I don’t know how to process them, I don’t have time to process them. I’ve been somewhat disconnected from friends and family at home and feel myself pulling away from those relationships because of it, loosing interest.
This month has been hard for me. Sure, the race is amazing and every blog I have written so far has been about the great, amazing adventures or ministries I’ve been doing; but I thought I would just be real and say, this is hard. The race is hard! Month 1 I did not think that 11 months was that long of a time. However, the next 4 months seem to be daunting to me instead of exciting. I am so grateful to be here, I am, and I wake up everyday in awe that this is my life. The other day the ridge behind our house caught fire. It burned for more than 12 hours leaving the ridge black once the fires were put out. The once green luscious mountain side was now left dry, black, and burnt. This is how I am feeling right now, dry and burnt out. I am trying my hardest to get my strength and endurance from God, but sometimes that is easier said than done.
Thank you so much for everyone who helped get me here. I am forever grateful for this experience, truly. I just wanted to let everyone know that the race is the best decision I have ever made and the hardest. It is a daily struggle and some days I just miss the comforts of home so much I think about leaving. However, the call God gave me rings louder than those thoughts. He wants me here and He is not finished molding me yet. Yes the race is hard as crap, but it is so good. I sometimes sit in anger and annoyance from the day to day struggles, but I have to remind myself that this race is a gift. I have to remind myself not to take a single moment for granted because I am going to wish I was back here once I am home.
If you all could please just keep the things in your prayers for me. Pray for renewal in my life spiritually and physically. Pray for a new love for my team and ministry. Pray that I am content in every situation and that I don’t take things for granted. Thank you all again for always supporting me and loving me.
God Bless,
Morgan
