My grandma is one of the most honorable and amazing women I have ever met. She comes from a long line of Scotts. In fact, my great (times a lot) uncle was the last man ever beheaded at the Tower of London. Yeah, our family is pretty awesome.
My grandma is an extremely intelligent woman, who spent a good part of her life handling finances for the city of Baton Rouge, LA. After that job, she did the finances for a halfway house and poured into the people there. She has a servant’s heart and has always cared for others, especially her family. She took great care of my Pappa, before he passed away a few years ago.
After he passed away, my grandma’s Alzheimers disease started to become noticeable. We moved her near to my mom’s house, into my mom’s, and then eventually we were forced to put her in a secure Alzheimers home. It has been really hard watching my grandma literally lose her mind. We visit her in the home a lot more than any of the other women’s families do. Yet, I have watched the disease encompass her faster than any of the other women. It just doesn’t seem fair.
My grandma doesn’t believe in Jesus. She told me that she’s read the entire bible, and there are some good thoughts, but she doesn’t believe it. Yet, she still respected my beliefs, supported my ministry, and indulged my prayers over the meals during the holiday seasons.
I have been praying for my grandma to come to know Jesus longer than I remember. Although, somewhere along the way, I lost faith in my prayers. I mean, my grandma can’t even remember what happened 5 minutes ago, how is she going to remember God?
Before I left for the race, my grandma could hold a conversation with you. Or at least understand what you are saying enough to formulate an answer. When I got home, she couldn’t even complete a sentence or articulate her words properly. It killed me.
I felt like I had made a bad decision. Was I wrong to have gone off to serve God overseas for 11 months, when my grandma needed Jesus too? It was in that moment that my grandma was able to articulate the only complete sentence I heard her make all day, “You’ve done everything right. I am proud of you.” She said it completely out of the blue. I instantly started to cry and was overwhelmed by the fact that, God just spoke through my grandma to me.
Last week, my mom called and told me that my grandma fell. I am 13 hours away from home, serving God in another state and this happens. Honestly, it made me a little upset with God. Why does He keep calling me away from home when my family needs me?
Then, God reminded me that my grandma’s salvation isn’t my burden to bare. It is a hard and ugly truth, but one I needed to learn. He is the only one big, good, and strong enough to captivate my grandma’s heart. I just didn’t see how that was possible, since she can’t even comprehend a sentence.
It was in that moment that God reminded me that His love is incomprehensible anyways. I can’t understand His love for me anymore than my grandma can. So, why am I believing a disease is bigger than the creator of the universe?
Yesterday, I found out that the hospice is getting involved with my grandma. That means she probably has about 6 months or less left. Which means, I will probably only see her a few more times when I come home for the holidays. It’s a heart stopping, gut wrenching, lump in your throat kind of feeling.
The day I lost my Pappa was the hardest day of my life. However, I cling to the hope that I will see him in heaven again someday. I want that same hope for my grandma.
Last Monday, everyone in the Adventures for Missions office prayed for my grandma to come to know Jesus. As I stood in the middle of the prayers, I felt a fight rise up. A fight telling satan that no illness, no hardship, and no struggle can separate God from his children. As much as I love my grandma, God still loves her more.
I believe God is working in my grandma’s heart, I believe He is speaking to her, I believe she can know Him even though she doesn’t know her family. I believe that there is something bigger than I can believe going on. So, I am asking all of you to pray for my grandma. Pray that she rests in Jesus and finds comfort in His arms.
I love you, Grandma!
Morgan
(Your granddaughter who blames you for her hot tea and milk addiction.)
