Learning how to let go seems to be more of an art than a science. This month I was a broken hot mess. The Lord made it very clear to me that in order to experience freedom I had to learn how to let go of everything that I so dearly held onto. My expectations, shattered, my desires, reshaped, and my material things, no longer belonging to me. In order to get to love I had to break free from holding onto the things that I thought were so precious and let go in order to find love in freedom. God brought 3 men into my life this last month to show me what love looks like.
Team Felicia was paired with another all girls team, team Two Mile. All 14 ladies sat on the back of the flat bed truck with our packs and watched the stars as we drove through the sandy streets of Maputo. This was our first introduction to Mozambique. There was just so much joy in our hearts and we knew that God had mighty plans for the month ahead, all I could repeat as I stared off into the distance was “What is this life?” How many people can say that they get to live this life? This my friends is the following Jesus life. The life of abundance in the Spirit and lacking in the natural. I don’t have much but what I do have in love and faith far out weighs the things in the natural world.
We pulled up to our home and we hoped out of the truck. There were three men who unloaded our bags and then lined up on the side of the truck to greet us. When I looked into the eyes of these men I saw men of God and I knew they were going to serve me this month. God said “Let GO and let them love you.”
For the first few days I fought it, I fought them. I didn’t let them help me in or out of the truck and I would hound them for eating last. I didn’t want a man to serve me. Too many men have hurt me. I didn’t know how to receive love or let alone give love.
Slowly my heart started to soften. Every night I would stay up with them and I got to know them on a deeper level. I had the privilege to hear stories about redemption and the love of Jesus and how that manifested in their lives I learned all about their dreams for their future and their love for Jesus and how the two of those things would one day collide. If you were to ask me what my favourite part about ministry was last month it would be my brothers. Antonio, Santos, and Navinho were my favourite part about Mozambique.
Antonio has a smile that could light up a football stadium, his joy for the Lord is contagious and he always lifted my spirits. Santos, oh Santos! His laugh is just as contagious as Antonio’s smile! He kept us in good spirits and the passion he has for bringing the gospel to his community might not always have been verbalised but it was real in his actions. His big brother Navinho is the oldest of the three guys and oldest of six brothers and he was our protector. He has a gentle spirit but there is a serious power that God has given him. When they are all together there is a brotherly love that always made me feel at home.
This is where the race can get tricky. It seems like all we ever do is say goodbye. I hate saying goodbye. This goodbye was especially hard. I saw so much growth in myself, my teammates, and these men. God did something special in Mozambique. We became a family, an American-Mozambican family. There wasn’t an awkward divide between us and our hosts or some awkward cultural barrier. This month I feel in love with Jesus in a new way. I feel in love with his creation of humanity and his unique design of each person. The way that he ordained this month for all parties involved was incredible. He did something special in each of our hearts and it was real. I have been away from Mozambique for just over 24 hours and I feel like a broken hot mess ya’ll. Thats what love does though. It wrecks you. So let the wrecking continue Lord, show me what real love is God and show me how to love like you.
