I wrote this story in 2011, but the timing wasn’t right so I
never posted.
never posted.
It was confirmed on Friday night.
Rusty’s body was found on the beach in Carlsbad.
He was gone.
Around four years
ago
ago
It had been another a crazy busy night at Fill-A-Belly. The sun was fast sinking below the ocean
while most of the guests had cleared out of St. Michaels fellowship hall. Plates clanked in the kitchen and water
dramatically whooshed through the industrial strength dishwasher. All the chairs and tables were cleared
away.
while most of the guests had cleared out of St. Michaels fellowship hall. Plates clanked in the kitchen and water
dramatically whooshed through the industrial strength dishwasher. All the chairs and tables were cleared
away.
I paused and took a deep breath after a beautiful night
filled with amazing food, lots of laughter, and fun games. Then I noticed one of our guests was hanging
back and waiting to talk with me. The
fluorescent lights illuminated his radiant smile, but underneath the brightness,
his features were etched in pain.
filled with amazing food, lots of laughter, and fun games. Then I noticed one of our guests was hanging
back and waiting to talk with me. The
fluorescent lights illuminated his radiant smile, but underneath the brightness,
his features were etched in pain.
He asked for prayer, and I gladly obliged.
As I put my hand on his shoulder I could literally feel the
spiritual oppression Rusty was facing. I
started to pray against those forces, but felt God leading me in a different
way.
spiritual oppression Rusty was facing. I
started to pray against those forces, but felt God leading me in a different
way.
God told me to remind Rusty of the
truth.
truth.
“You are loved.”
“You are beloved.”
“You are Gods beautiful child.”
“Your life is worthwhile.”
“God has good plans for you.”
Tears streamed down his face as the words washed over his
soul.
soul.
After saying Amen, Rusty exuberantly wrapped his arms around
me and profusely thanked me. I gave him
my number, which I dont normally do, but I wanted him to know that he had
someone to call if needed.
me and profusely thanked me. I gave him
my number, which I dont normally do, but I wanted him to know that he had
someone to call if needed.
June, 2011
I shut
the car door and began walking up to the gathering in the park. It was the
first week in a long time I didn’t have anything to carry or unload. From a distance the group looked like any
other potluck. A large line formed around the food, people clustered at picnic
tables eating, others congregated in the grass. As I got closer I noticed a
huge amount of donated clothing piled on the lawn. Thankfully, there was tons
of food, because the gathering had to be around 75 people.
the car door and began walking up to the gathering in the park. It was the
first week in a long time I didn’t have anything to carry or unload. From a distance the group looked like any
other potluck. A large line formed around the food, people clustered at picnic
tables eating, others congregated in the grass. As I got closer I noticed a
huge amount of donated clothing piled on the lawn. Thankfully, there was tons
of food, because the gathering had to be around 75 people.
I began
shaking hands and meeting everyone I could. That’s what I do at Fill-A-Belly. During
this routine I saw a man who looked very familiar but I could not place him. He
spoke in a high voice and motioned with dramatic gestures.
shaking hands and meeting everyone I could. That’s what I do at Fill-A-Belly. During
this routine I saw a man who looked very familiar but I could not place him. He
spoke in a high voice and motioned with dramatic gestures.
We
started talking and I KNEW we had met before, but his identity remained
nebulous. A fun personality and natural
charisma exuded from his warm smile. He
excitedly showed me a huge, gaudy hat with Easter eggs sewed on the brim, that
he had picked up from the donation pile.
He explained that the hat was for a friend who was fighting cancer. She had allowed him to stay at her house and
he wanted to return the favor with a gift.
started talking and I KNEW we had met before, but his identity remained
nebulous. A fun personality and natural
charisma exuded from his warm smile. He
excitedly showed me a huge, gaudy hat with Easter eggs sewed on the brim, that
he had picked up from the donation pile.
He explained that the hat was for a friend who was fighting cancer. She had allowed him to stay at her house and
he wanted to return the favor with a gift.
Later
that night he grabbed my hand and pulled me into a slightly awkward dance move
ending with us side by side, his arm around me, and our faces about 6 inches
apart. He was so excited to share
something with me. “Morgan, Will you pray for me?” He asked in a singsong voice.
that night he grabbed my hand and pulled me into a slightly awkward dance move
ending with us side by side, his arm around me, and our faces about 6 inches
apart. He was so excited to share
something with me. “Morgan, Will you pray for me?” He asked in a singsong voice.
“I would
love to!” I immediately responded.
love to!” I immediately responded.
As we
started to pray, I felt that there was a lot of spiritual opposition on his life,
but that’s not what I was led to pray for. God made it clear to me that I
needed to speak to his true identity, and confirm that he is a beautifully
loved child of God. As I was praying he exuberantly stopped me.
started to pray, I felt that there was a lot of spiritual opposition on his life,
but that’s not what I was led to pray for. God made it clear to me that I
needed to speak to his true identity, and confirm that he is a beautifully
loved child of God. As I was praying he exuberantly stopped me.
“Morgan,
I remember when we met. It was at the old location a few years ago. You prayed
the exact same things for me!” As soon as he spoke the memory came cascading
back. It was Rusty!
I remember when we met. It was at the old location a few years ago. You prayed
the exact same things for me!” As soon as he spoke the memory came cascading
back. It was Rusty!
Years
before we had stood in front of the kitchen at St. Michaels and talked to God
together. “My life changed after that
night,” Rusty continued. “I had hit rock bottom at that point and I was feeling
so much attack, but after that prayer time things were different. You even gave
me your phone number on a little slip of paper. I kept the number for years as
a reminder of what God had done.”
before we had stood in front of the kitchen at St. Michaels and talked to God
together. “My life changed after that
night,” Rusty continued. “I had hit rock bottom at that point and I was feeling
so much attack, but after that prayer time things were different. You even gave
me your phone number on a little slip of paper. I kept the number for years as
a reminder of what God had done.”
I
stammered a, “Wow, thank you. Thank God!” I was astonished, what a reminder of
God’s power to set people free.
stammered a, “Wow, thank you. Thank God!” I was astonished, what a reminder of
God’s power to set people free.
Today
Rusty began attending Fill-A-Belly weekly after that day. I always looked forward to seeing Rusty and
receiving one of his exuberant hugs. He
was everyones favorite. Even during the
hardest day, my bad moods didnt stand a chance against Rustys contagious
joy.
receiving one of his exuberant hugs. He
was everyones favorite. Even during the
hardest day, my bad moods didnt stand a chance against Rustys contagious
joy.
One week Trevor, our resident pastor, was praying for Molly
and me. Rusty excitedly joined in. His uncensored pleas to God on our behalf
deeply blessed me and brought peace in the mists of a chaotic time.
and me. Rusty excitedly joined in. His uncensored pleas to God on our behalf
deeply blessed me and brought peace in the mists of a chaotic time.
This loss has been devastating.
(A flower arrangement that Rusty brought to Fill-A-Belly to make everyone feel at home.)
Last night Stephen, our Carlsbad facilitator, met me as I
walked up to the gathering. “Morgan,
those are Rusty’s parents,” he stated while gesturing to an sweet little
couple, “they wanted to see the community Rusty was a part of.”
walked up to the gathering. “Morgan,
those are Rusty’s parents,” he stated while gesturing to an sweet little
couple, “they wanted to see the community Rusty was a part of.”
As I embraced his parents, I was powerless against the tears
streaming down my cheeks. It was an
incredible privilege to get to say, “Your son loved you. He spoke highly of you. He knew you loved him.”
streaming down my cheeks. It was an
incredible privilege to get to say, “Your son loved you. He spoke highly of you. He knew you loved him.”
They were profusely grateful for Fill-A-Belly, and thanked
us again and again for providing a place where their son could be loved. At the end of the night they talked about
coming back to volunteer and love others with the same struggles Rusty
had.
us again and again for providing a place where their son could be loved. At the end of the night they talked about
coming back to volunteer and love others with the same struggles Rusty
had.
Redemption and beauty.
Tears and laughter.
Indelible moments.
My life is richer because I knew Rusty. In his honor I want to love louder and hug
longer.
longer.
I’m forever grateful.
