Last week I got to attend the Bridge Conference put on bythe International Sports Coalition at NCCC.
It was amazing ministry training with people from all over the
world. Being in a group where I was the
minority as an American English speaker was a privilege. (The Photo’s are from the conference.) I picked up so many great experiential
learning techniques I can’t wait to use on mission teams. Things have been a great kind of busy lately,
but I’ve been avoiding blogging about them and had to ask my self why.
As often as I’m complemented on this blog, I struggle with
feeling like I am clogging people’s inboxes with update alerts. Just writing out that thought makes it seem a
little less steeped in reality. There is
something about acknowledging a fear that takes away its power.
feeling like I am clogging people’s inboxes with update alerts. Just writing out that thought makes it seem a
little less steeped in reality. There is
something about acknowledging a fear that takes away its power.
This morning I read through my journal from sophomore year for a
talk I was giving at
Vista High, Fellowship Of Christian Athletes (FCA.) Right between, “I forgot deodorant this
morning,” and “I can’t find my favorite kneepads,” I found this
gem, “fear is redundant, joy moves forward.” I’m kind of surprised by the insight in my
old ramblings. I mean really, remembering
deodorant while braving the halls of High School is the pinnacle of wisdom.
talk I was giving at
Vista High, Fellowship Of Christian Athletes (FCA.) Right between, “I forgot deodorant thismorning,” and “I can’t find my favorite kneepads,” I found this
gem, “fear is redundant, joy moves forward.” I’m kind of surprised by the insight in my
old ramblings. I mean really, remembering
deodorant while braving the halls of High School is the pinnacle of wisdom.
Fear = Stuck!
That’s the biggest thing that God has been doing in me lately,
working through fear. Unfortunately, tackling
my issues is like peeling a giant onion, there always seems to be another layer
and sometimes… ok, most of the time, it makes me cry. I would love to have more of those
victorious, hands held high, in the sage words of Charlie Sheen, “WINNING,”
moments, but my reality is a lot less glamorous.
working through fear. Unfortunately, tackling
my issues is like peeling a giant onion, there always seems to be another layer
and sometimes… ok, most of the time, it makes me cry. I would love to have more of those
victorious, hands held high, in the sage words of Charlie Sheen, “WINNING,”
moments, but my reality is a lot less glamorous.
I was terrified of fundraising my salary when I begin this whole
process of becoming a full time missionary. Support Raising was a fear double whammy… I’ve always struggled with idolizing
financial security and I hate asking people for anything, especially money. I was created to get people involved in
missions, for over 10 years I knew that was my calling but the fear of what I
would have to do to get there left me stuck.
process of becoming a full time missionary. Support Raising was a fear double whammy… I’ve always struggled with idolizing
financial security and I hate asking people for anything, especially money. I was created to get people involved in
missions, for over 10 years I knew that was my calling but the fear of what I
would have to do to get there left me stuck.
The last few months God has been using my attempt to QuitConsumerism to show me how much He wants to provide for me. A few weeks ago I was camping when I suddenly
realized one of my favorite pairs of work out pants were done. Friction is not my friend. For all my friends with thighs that touch you
know what I am talking about, and for the rest of you, I’m going to pretend
like you don’t exist. In my defense of
my thighs I did walk across Swaziland in those pants.
For me, work out pants are what we in my household jokingly call
the limiting reagent of the laundry cycle, which means they are the reason I
can’t put off doing wash for another day.
Needless to say I was bummed to be seeing the light of day through the
crotch of my pants. Normally that
wouldn’t be a big deal, I would just run on down to the TJ Maxx pick up a new pair, and be on my
way. With my crazy decision to not buy
things for three months that wasn’t an option.
the limiting reagent of the laundry cycle, which means they are the reason I
can’t put off doing wash for another day.
Needless to say I was bummed to be seeing the light of day through the
crotch of my pants. Normally that
wouldn’t be a big deal, I would just run on down to the TJ Maxx pick up a new pair, and be on my
way. With my crazy decision to not buy
things for three months that wasn’t an option.
A few days later I went up to my cousin Kim’s house in Orange
County. As I was leaving she thrust a black
piece of clothing in my hands and said, “I don’t know where these came from but
do you want them?” I looked down and
couldn’t believe what I saw, my favorite brand of work out pants in just the
right size. I’m slowly peeling back the
onion and realizing that if God cares about me enough to give me highlights and
work out pants, maybe I can trust Him to provide for the big things in my life
as well!
County. As I was leaving she thrust a black
piece of clothing in my hands and said, “I don’t know where these came from but
do you want them?” I looked down and
couldn’t believe what I saw, my favorite brand of work out pants in just the
right size. I’m slowly peeling back the
onion and realizing that if God cares about me enough to give me highlights and
work out pants, maybe I can trust Him to provide for the big things in my life
as well!
