Life is good here in Swaziland, Africa! The last few days the World Racers have been debriefing, which means we are working through all that’s happened to us. I’m a verbal processor (which is a nice way of saying I like to talk) so I really enjoy the time get my thoughts out. One thing I keep realizing is that God cares more about me then my ministry. God cares more about how I am learning and growing than how many people he is letting me reach.
God’s been doing a lot in my heart lately, digging up past wounds and using the community around me to bring healing. On this race it’s almost impossible to deal with any of your issues on your own. At home when I have a problem or when I’m dealing with a part of my self I don’t like I run away. I eat, sleep, watch T.V., exercise, drink, get alone, or run to friends. Here all of those things aren’t really an option. Trust me, I’ve tried!
When I have a problem or issue it affects my whole team not just me. It’s not like life before the race where I could go home, do something that would help me to stuff the problem down, and then rejoin the world with a painted on smile. Here my team gets all of me, the confident, enthusiastic, leader side and the wounded, hypersensitive, depressed side. What I’m finding in this radical vulnerability and community is that people have a much greater capacity for love and grace then I ever thought possible.
I’m learning to trust and that even if people let me down God never will. I’m also learning that it’s ok to not be ok. I don’t have to hold everything together or be perfect. God is showing me that when I am open and honest about struggles they loose their power over me. Maybe that’s why the Bible says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16a)
Please keep me in your prayers as God brings me through this process. I have confidence that, “He who began a good work in me will carry it on until completion,” (Philippians 1:6) even if that process is messy!
My teammates Candice and Emilie both write wonderful blogs with pictures about our first bush trip in Mozambique which are featured on the World Race home page http://www.theworldrace.org/. Check them out, here are the links…http://candicehill.theworldrace.org/ and http://emiliejanson.theworldrace.org
(Team Salt, minus Andrew, with gifts given to us by the church in Mozambique)
