Growing up I was the care taker. Starting at a pretty young age I took on the 2nd mom roll. I took care of my brothers and sister. I watched them while my parents were at work and enjoyed doing it. I honestly don’t know if it was because I felt like I was needed or that I just have the motherly caretaker in me.
It might be a little bit of both.
So since then I’ve always watched out for and protected my younger siblings.
When people were mean or ugly to them I interceded.
I remember one instance my brothers were having some trouble in their Sunday school class. Their teachers were the same age as me and one of them attended the Bible Study I went to every Tuesday night.
One day, my brothers came home and told me that their Sunday school teachers were making them do pushups when they forgot their Bible or when they were “misbehaving” during the Sunday school hour.
I was livid.
These guys were my age. They were my brother’s age not too long ago and obviously didn’t remember what it’s like to be a teenager in church. And frankly, I thought Sunday school was NOT a boot camp.
So, the next Tuesday I walked up to the guy and said I had a bone to pick with him. I explained to him that he is teaching teenaged boys and that Sunday morning was not the place to pound his fists at them. I told him that making them do pushups was ridiculous and that all it did was embarrass the boys. I asked him not to do it anymore and make sure he knew that I was upset about it.
I think that’s the only time I get really stern with people; when they mess with my family. You can walk all over me all you want, but don’t mess with my family. That’s a whole nother topic..
I remember walking away with my head held high, thinking that I had taken care of it.
But I didn’t. The next Sunday my brothers came home and told me that his teachers had basically ridiculed him for telling me. Again. I was livid.
I didn’t confront the guy again. I can’t really remember why I didn’t. Maybe I didn't want to make things worse. I just let it go, but I was irritated at the situation and was reminded of it every Tuesday when I saw him.
Through the past couple years, I’ve really watched out for my siblings. Especially because they are all teenagers right now and I am so worried that they are going to make the same mistakes I did when I was their age.
So coming on the World Race, I was ripped out of the caretaker/over-protecting older sister role.
The past 3 months have been hard. Not only do I miss seeing their faces every day, I’ve had to watch them go through things that have been even harder than what they had to deal with while I was there. No doubt that was God’s plan.
He knew I was over protective of them.
He knew I watched them like a hawk.
He knew that I needed to stop.
Even being so far away it’s hard to fight the urge to talk to them about their tough issues. It’s hard not to tell them what they should do. It’s hard for me to just watch.
But that’s what I have to do.
I can’t protect them anymore.
I can’t stand up for them anymore.
Because I’m only hurting them.
Sometimes people have to learn by mistake (I am one of those people), and me telling by siblings what to do in every situation doesn’t allow them to make their own decisions, and it doesn’t allow them to mess up.
You learn a lot through messing up. I know I did.
The next 8 months are going to be though. I’m going to want to protect them from thousands of miles away. But I can’t.
I have to let them go. I have to let them make their own decisions. I can’t be their care taker anymore.
Because when I am, I’m only hurting them.
Me
Jackson, 17
Emily, 19
Cooper, 15
I love all three of them to the moon and back!
