When Sitting by Yourself at Starbucks is a Luxury

This means that I recharge by myself. I need alone time to "process". Basically, being around people 24/7 exhausts me. Emotionally, physically and mentally.
And here I am on The World Race where I'm surrounded by people 24/7.
Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing.

I've tried really hard to make time to be by myself because I know I need it. But, I feel like it's not enough! I feel like I need to run away! And that's what I did this morning.

This morning I woke up feeling drained. Feeling like I pour into everyone else around me and I never get to fill up. Feeling like I am so worried about other people that I don't worry about myself and the things I need. Feeling like I just want to run away from this thing called "community".
It's tough.

I've been looking back on certain situations and I find myself worrying about other people. All. The. Time.
When I'm surrounded by other people I'm never focusing on myself. I focus on whether other people are having a good time or not. Whether other people are happy or not. Whether what we're doing is what everyone else wants to do. And most of the time I sacrifice my happiness and what I want to do so other people are happy. That's not right.
If I pour into people and never fill up….I'm going to go insane.

So I'm learning that it's okay to take a whole day and do nothing but be by myself.
That it's okay to do the things I want to do sometimes…even if I feel people get angry with me because I usually give in a do what they want.
That's it's okay if I don't want to be around people or talk to people all the time because that's how God made me.

So. I'm sitting here at Starbucks completely okay with the fact that no one else I know is around me.
That I am completely by myself (I'm in a safe area, don't worry)
That I'm being an introvert…the one God created me to be.

And you know what. I feel a thousand times better than I did when I walked in here with a face full of tears from being so frustrated.