In my 21 years of existence, I cannot remember a time where I wasn’t involved in church. Growing up I loved going to church. I loved going to Sunday school and Awana and every other children’s activities that went on. But as I grew older that changed. I noticed people’s attitude and how they REALLY treat people; and the joy that I had when going to church went away. I noticed that change about the same time I started high school. I noticed the leaders and other “authority figures” putting their focus on me. And they let me know when they didn’t agree or didn’t like something I did or said or wore.
I didn’t understand how these people who said they loved me and helped me grow up could now be so hurtful. I know that I am not the only one this has happened to. Hurt feelings in church are probably some of the hardest to deal with.
My family eventually moved to another church and even though it took me a while to get involved again I thought that this would be a new start; it would be change. But guess what?
I found the same types of people.
That hasn’t kept me from being involved in church or forming relationships with my church family, but it makes me question a lot.
Why are people like this?
What is wrong with church?
I’m very much a people watcher and observer, and over the years here are the “stereotypes” I’ve seen.
The Gossip
This person (most likely a woman) is so consumed with wanting to know about everyone else’s life that they almost forget about their own. Everyone usually comes to this person and spills their guts to them because they feel like they can and they won’t tell anyone. But then, somehow everyone knows. The information sometimes comes out in “prayer request form”. Example:
“We really need to pray for this person. She’s having a really hard time because so-and-so did this to her.”
A gossip betrays a confidence,
But a trustworthy person keeps a secret.
Proverbs 11:13
The Complainer
This person complains about everything. Even if something good happens to them to them they’ll find a way to complain about it. They want everyone to throw them a pity party for them, and usually, once again, it comes in “prayer request form”.
Do everything without grumbling or arguing.
Philippians 2:14
The Mask-Wearer
This person puts a face on every single time he/she walks into the church. They act like they have it all together and they’re so happy and nothing at all is wrong in their life. In reality (as soon as they walk out the door) they struggle with depression or addiction.
Better the poor whose walk is blameless
Than a fool whose lips are perverse. Proverbs 19:1
The Hider
This person is similar to the mask-wearer, but this person acts like that are the most perfect person ever and they never sin or do anything wrong. This person is usually well-liked and is a role model figure. But in reality, the curse like a sailor, get drunk every night and cheat on their spouse and just lie about it.
The Lord detests lying lips,
But he delights in people who are trustworthy.
Proverbs 12:22
The Show-off
This person is exactly what the title says. They have to show everyone their “gifts that God has blessed them with” to the point where it becomes annoying. They have to let everyone know when they talk to someone about Jesus or do a good deed. A show-off.
As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil.
James 1:16
The Finger-Pointer
This person points out all the bad in everyone else and doesn’t look in the mirror. They feel the need to let others know when they don’t agree with something someone says or does. They point it out so others can “become better Christians”, but they refuse to look at themselves.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
Now which one are you? Or which oneS are you?
Are you the gossip?
Or the Mask-wearer?
Or the Finger-pointer?
Personally, I struggle with being a mask-wearer. I don’t like when others know or see when I’m hurt. I also struggle with pointing my fingers at others. Not necessarily telling them to their face, but in my head I know how to fix everyone else’s “problems”
God sums up what we as Christ followers are called to do.
For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Galatians 5:14
It all comes back to selfishness because we as human are extremely selfish.
The gossip wants to put the attention on others so no one will see her. Selfish.
The complainer wants everyone to feel sorry for them and never has enough. Selfish.
The mask-wearer and hider want everyone to think they’re perfect. Selfish.
The show-off wants everyone to look at them. Selfish.
The finger-pointer also wants to put the attention on other people so they’ll be “protected”. Selfish.
I don't think this is what God had in mind when He created the church.
If we stopped thinking of ourselves and started thinking of others imagine what church would be like. Imganie what our world would be like.
