I remember the conversations vividly. They were quite common over the span of several months leading up to the race.
“You should also think about taking a poncho with you”
“No, Dad. I’m not going to take a poncho.”
“It’d be good to have if it ever rains unexpectedly”
“I’m already bringing a rain jacket”
“But you could also use a poncho”
“Dad, I’m not bringing a poncho. That’s ridiculous.”
“Well… I promise you, one day you’re going to wish you had one and then you’re going to say, ‘I wish I had listened to my father.’ ”
That day came sooner than expected. I wish I had listened to my father.
It happened last Friday. Mind you, that was the end of our first week. And things had been going pretty swimmingly up until that day. But as they say, when it rains it pours. In this case, both figuratively and literally.
We all woke up around 4:30 am. That might not sound drastic but for those who know me and know my rule about talking before 10:00 am (just don’t do it), they understand that mornings are rough for me. But we had to leave the house by 5:00 am to catch a 6:15 am train. Our plan was to head to Novi Sad, the location of a major European music festival titled Exit Festival. Earlier in the month our contact felt the direction to go to Exit Festival and prayer for those participating. We had no idea what to expect or what we were supposed to do once we got there but we knew that we were simply supposed to be there. And so we went.
Back to 5:30 am in the morning… we found out that the 6:15 am train was sold out. And so, we had to wait for the 8:15 am train instead. Not that I was complaining in my mind but if I had I would’ve thought, “if there was an 8:15 am train all along, why were we trying to catch the earlier one…?” But lately I’ve been trying to quit complaining and so I caught that thought and told myself to go with it. Lord, settle my heart and allow it to submit to obedience.
So we had a few hours to spare. Plan to waste time? Go to McDonalds to eat breakfast. Beautiful! I can get my coffee and muffin and all will be right in the world. And then I can sleep on the two hour train ride to Novi Sad. And yes, all of that came to pass.
So we got to Novi Sad and found it to be not what we expected. It seemed sort of like a ghost town. And it wasn’t until we spoke with two guys still drunk from the night before that we realized all the festival goers were still convalescing from the night before. Cool. We’re here to evangelize but no one is out yet. Okay. So what do we do now?
Change of plans, we decided to have a prayer walk. At first this started at a location across the river from a fort. (By the way, the festival took place in a major, super old fort). Then there was the idea to move the prayer walk to the fort where people will actually be. So we head towards the bridge.
Mind you, during the first part of our prayer walk, we met a stray dog and named him Ronnie and he became ours. And by that I mean he started following us everywhere we meant. Turns out this is pretty common in Serbia as it was the third time a stray dog adopted our group of 12 as their family.
So we’re passing the bridge that yields heavy traffic. Halfway across, Ronnie gets hit by a car. Spoiler: Ronnie turns out to be okay! He wasn’t hurt or bruised, just a little shook up. And after praying over his initial shock, he popped right up and bounced along with us yet again. However, before knowing that Ronnie was okay, one of the members of our group was significantly distraught by witnessing him get hit and couldn’t handle the emotions that came with it all.
So change of plans, we go to eat lunch at a nearby restaurant with authentic Serbian food. Then we go to get ice cream. Then we head back to the fort. This time, we crossed the bridge without any issues. And so we get to the fort to immerse ourselves in prayer.
Oh, by the way, did I mention that it has been raining all day? Not only that but it was cold. Not exactly cold but none of us were prepared for even cooler weather so the damp wind to us was cold. And so the prayer commenced at the entrance of the fortress. The entrance being a plot of land elevated over the city where we all assumed a location to speak to the Lord and pray over the festival. And the wind was blowing so strong up there. And the rain was relentless. But just like the rain, we didn’t quit until the time was right. And then we split into two groups, mine being the group that walked up and down the steps to the entrance praying over every person that would enter the festival. Then we came back together.
That is when it hit me. This day, this objective to prayer over the festival, is way more important than I expected. How did I determine this? By the extreme ways that the enemy was working to discourage us that day. He was doing everything in his power to prevent us from going to the fort and praying over that location. From failed train plans to hurt dogs to some of us being personally attacked in the midst of ministry to the rain and the wind, every circumstance provoked us to give up and go home. I won’t lie, the thought occurred to me numerous times throughout the day… “Let’s just go home.” But in those moments, I couldn’t see that our objective, given by the Lord, was so simple yet significant enough for the enemy to put effort into discouraging us. And then, that realization just empowered me even more to lift the festival up in prayer. Also there were 12 of us. No, I do not believe in coincidences. Yes, that number is significant.
The next step of the plan was to go grab tea and coffee and then come back to the entrance and evangelize to people waiting in line to enter. So we went to get coffee and tea to warm ourselves. Thank God. Sure enough though, the enemy continued to try to discourage us and create division among our 12 even as we were trying to warm up. As we were leaving to return to the festival entrance my squad leader Meg just hugged me from behind and said, “boy, you have your hands full today don’t you?” That is when I started to laugh which turned into that awkward laugh cry after living a day that brought battle after battle after battle.
And the rain continued. The moment was this; I was standing under a doorway with my teammate Jess, trying to find any ounce of shelter. That’s when two people walked by with the most stylish ponchos I have ever seen. And I said it… “I wish I had a poncho.” And we both laughed. Because she understood my sentiment as she was wearing a summer dress and her legs were freezing off.
Right away I remembered my dad’s words, “Well… I promise you, one day you’re going to wish you had one and then you’re going to say, ‘I wish I had listened to my father.’ ”
So here it is; I wish I had listened to my father. He was right as he most always is and I continued to laugh cry about the pathetic scenario.
When we went back to the entrance to pray, we were told that we couldn’t get to the entrance without tickets. Cool. So then, we decided to go home. Finally. And that was the end of the day. We went to the train station, looking defeated, feeling discouraged, questioning the purpose of it all, just wanting to get home. And on the train home, barely any of us talked with one another. And for the first time on the field, I just felt sad. And I wanted to go home. But not home back in Chantilly, home in Belgrade. And the moment I sensed that Belgrade was home, I felt an immense amount of peace. Thank you Lord.
Here is what I learned that day; there are times where we won’t see the fruits of our labor in representing the Kingdom of God. We are not promised to see the product of our obedience, we are not promised encouragement when we act in response to the Lord, but we are to act anyways. We spent the entire day in the rain and cold just to pray over the location of a major music festival. We could easily ask ourselves, “what’s the point of it all?” But our motivation in ministry cannot be self-gratification for doing good, but rather answering the call that the Lord sends to us. We act expecting nothing in return, but knowing that our actions will bring glory to the Kingdom even when we cannot see it. And we continue on. As discouragement rains upon us, we keep stepping forward in faith, as that is what we are called to do.
This lesson will take a while for me to wholly understand. But now my eyes are open to it. And so I soften my heart to accept it fully.
“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you. Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, “I believed, and so I spoke,” we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God. So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” -2 Corinthians 4:7-18
Thus I pray.
I pray for the endurance to always act in faith and trust that the Lord will use my actions for His greater good even when I do not see how with my own eyes.
