It’s hard to know where to start. Training camp only lasted seven days and yet, it seems to have embodied the progression of a month.
Picture this; I arrive at camp past midnight, not eight hours after graduating from Virginia Tech, and am told to pitch my tent in the dark. It is cold and wet and everything in my body and spirit alike inform me that I do not want to be here. And yet, a verse keeps coming to mind:
“Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, and you will find life.” –Isaiah 55:3
And so I put to rest the resentment that starts to stir and open my heart to learn from the Lord, to listen to the Lord. Fast forward seven days, and never has my heart been so empowered, never has it been so full of purpose, and never have I been so at peace with where I’m at.
But looking back on that amount of growth, everything that I learned and experienced accumulated into one idea; empowerment through revelation.
Lord, open my eyes and soften my heart to You.
That has been my prayer for some time now and in the span of a week, God answered it with swift intensity. He opened my eyes to things of the past and things of the future, He softened my heart to people in the present. And I am still in awe of what I have seen through His perspective.
There was this one day in particular. Later in the afternoon, I was walking to worship and before fully immersing my heart in song, I looked at the setting sun through the trees. There I felt God’s presence. And with His presence, peace followed. And for the first time ever, I saw a purpose to all of the continuing struggles that have engulfed me in the past few years. Everything that developed into a significant challenge was revealed to be a battle that I didn’t know I was fighting; a battle between the forces pulling me towards and drawing me away from the Lord’s calling in my life. And in that moment, it all made sense. As if these unrelated parts of my life that left me confused, uncertain and frankly lost, suddenly weaved together to create a beautiful tapestry of the victory of our God. He has been fighting for me for so long. And I never realized it until now. Our God is not dead or even idle, He is fighting for us day after day and at the end of it all, He proves Himself victorious over all other powers of the world.
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose fo them…What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?” –Romans 8:28-31
In the same way the Lord opened my eyes to the battle I have been ignorant of for so long, He also opened my eyes to the purpose of my shattering world. For some time now He has been breaking me more than I believe was possible. But He waited until training camp to open my eyes to the necessity of my own brokeness. He started molding my heart with humility so that when the time for training arrived, I was at a place to rely on His wisdom and His discernment above my own. And still, I know that He is not yet done breaking me. But now, there is beauty in noticing the why behind it all.
Even more beautiful was the empowerment that came in parallel to revelation. As the tapestry of victory and purpose was weaved, the Spirit used the pattern it created to uplift me for His glory. I have never before felt so affirmed in my life that I am doing exactly what I was created to do. I was made for this. And by the power of Christ, I trust so fully that He will use me along with my squad to bring glory to His name. What greater purpose in life than that? Glory glory, Hallelujah.
Thus I pray. I pray that as I stand strong with Christ as my Cornerstone, that nothing will shake me from this place. I pray that the Lord continues to speak to me and to open my eyes to Him. I pray that He blesses me with wisdom and grace. And that He continues the work in me that He started long ago.
And daily I pray for my team, team Ironlife. I pray that the Lord continues to soften our hearts towards each other and that we will grow to learn how to serve each other well. And I pray that we live up to our name that is rooted in Proverbs 27:17. Lord bless our team with love, grace and strength.
