The last time I celebrated a half birthday was junior choir at church. Our director, Suzie Grieder, would give us a candy bar and the choir would sing Happy Birthday to you. I loved it! As a summer birthday, I usually missed out on school birthday fun, so I was glad to be able to celebrate a birthday during the school year with junior choir.
Yesterday I turned 34.5 years old; thank you Jesus! I really am so happy to be alive. I have always had the feeling that I would die young. I don’t know why, but I just do. The feeling started in high school and has directed many of my life decisions. I don’t want to miss out on a “cool” opportunity, and I never want to feel like I wasted time. I would hate to waste a day or a certain time period in my life. I know life is short and really want to make the most of every day. I always want to say goodbye to people: whether they are leaving a party, leaving to go to the grocery store or moving away. I need closure with everything. I want to make sure I leave people and situations on good terms. One of my favorite verses has always been the second half of John 10:10. “… I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
For some, especially single women that want to be married with kids, the 35th birthday is not one that we really get excited about or look forward to. We grow up hearing that it is hard to get married or have kids after the age of 35. This age becomes somewhat of a deadline. Therefore, 34 tends to feel like “the last best year.” (Thank you Lizzy Wagner for that phrase.) “My last best year” I promised to not date (World Race policy), which at times I wonder what am I doing giving up “my last best year” by taking myself out of the dating pool. We watched the movie The Holiday a couple of weeks ago that has the quote, “Single women over the age of 35 are more likely to be killed by a terrorist than get married.” Thank you Cameron Diaz! This statement is not true, but has been quoted a lot. Here are a few “real” statistics.
- Seventeen percent of American women have not married by age 35.
- A 35-year-old, never-married, college-educated woman has a 41% chance of getting married.
- A 2001 published article in The American Sociological Review examined “never-married, Caucasian, college-educated women who were ages 30 through 34 in the mid-1990’s” – their chances for marriage were 97%”. (Please note that the study went to 34, not 35.)
- You can improve your marriage over 30 chances by keeping fit, trying to become more outgoing and being positive about your chances of marriage after 30. (Along with this article there is an on-line calculator to see what your chance is to get married after the age of 30, mine is 66%.)
When I start to get discouraged in my last best year, I think of the story of Abraham and Sarah. “Then the Lord said to Abraham, ‘Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child now that I am old?’ Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.’ Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, ‘I did not laugh.’ But he said, ‘Yes, you did laugh.” (Genesis 18:13-15) I think of the story of Jacob and Rachel. “Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and enabled her to conceive. She became pregnant and gave birth to a son and said, ‘God has taken away my disgrace.’ She named him Joseph, and said, ‘May the Lord add to me another son.” (Genesis 30: 22-24)
I also think of my prayers just a year ago. I was tired of buying things for myself, planning outings for myself on my birthday, and tired of showing up to holiday events by myself. I prayed that I could have kids to buy things for, kids to plan birthday parties for, kids to celebrate Christmas with and dates to parties. God is so good. Yesterday I secretly celebrated my half birthday and it was such a great day. I shopped for Christmas presents for the Rumah girls, went to a movie with my team (I bought a drink and popcorn too, which I never do.), had great conversations throughout the day with team members, came home to McDonald’s delivery (The English teacher brought it and Christmas presents for the girls.), and cake for dessert!
God hears my prayers, God knows my desires, and God gives me peace. (Psalm 119:33-50 sums up this post quite well.) My last best year has taught me to fully trust God with everything. I can honestly say the World Race was the perfect year for my last best year. I look forward to being 35, I look forward to celebrating all my girlfriends’ 35th birthdays, and I look forward to the life I get to live for the next six months.
Life is good at 34.5 years!
(Pictures: Christmas shopping for my girls and the girls!)
