To be honest, I am overwhelmed. The planning, the packing, the fundraising, the emotions; they all add up and leave me feeling way in over my head. I find myself getting caught up in thinking about all I will miss while I am gone: my family, my friends, the birth of my second niece (I take my role as an aunt very seriously), my comfortable bed, my warm shower, my favorite foods, etc. I begin to wonder what in the world I am doing, and right when I get on the verge of explosion (about 30 minutes ago), God reminds me.
There are two quotes I have written down that always bring me back to reality. The first one is from The Purpose Driven Life, and I view it kind of as a much needed slap across the face: “It’s not about you. The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness. It’s far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams and ambitions. If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by his purpose and for his purpose.” Yeah… SLAP! Okay God, I’m listening.
I don’t remember where I saw this second one, but I think they are the words of John Piper: “If you don’t feel strong desires for the manifestation of the glory of God, it is not because you have drunk deeply and are satisfied. It is because you have nibbled so long at the table of the world. Your soul is stuffed with small things, and there is no room for the great.”
I want room for the great, even if that means leaving things behind. Yes I am going to miss my family, and yes I am going to miss my bed, but I am not going to miss the doubts, the fears, and the insecurities of this comfortable life that fill me up daily. I need to remember I am running towards something far greater than what I am leaving behind.
Here are some beautiful words originally penned by British explorer and adventurer, Sir Francis Drake, when he departed on an expedition in 1577:
“Disturb us, Lord, when we are too pleased with ourselves, when our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little, when we arrived safely because we sailed too close to the shore.
“Disturb us, Lord, when with the abundance of things we possess, we have lost our thirst for the waters of life; having fallen in love with life, we have ceased to dream of eternity, and it our effort to build a new earth, we have allowed our vision of the new Heaven to dim.
“Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, to venture on wilder seas where storms will show your mastery; where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars. We ask you to push back the horizons of our hopes, and to push into the future in strength, courage, hope, and love.
This we ask in the name of our captain, who is Jesus Christ.”
I came to my computer this morning overwhelmed and discouraged, but am leaving inspired and filled with peace. Please continue to keep me and my team in your prayers!
FUNDRAISING UPDATE: As you can see, I am currently at $300. I need $3,500 by June 27th, which means checks need to be mailed TODAY to get in on time, and credit/debit card donations need to be submitted by June 24th in order to be processed on time. Click the “Support Me!” link on the top or on the lefthand side and it will guide you on how to give. I pray that many will see this not as an opportunity to give to me, but to God. My hope is that you don’t view this just as a journey for me, but for you too.
