So something amazing happened in India … I fell in love. And golly, am I smitten! This isn’t your typical love story, because this isn’t your typical love. It cannot be categorized by any love-stereotype. I cannot apply it to any love cliche. Nor can I fully explain the effect this love has had on me.
But I can sure try.
Her name, Alicia. Her eyes, captivating. Her demeanor, stubborn yet loving. Her attitude, constantly playful. Her manner of communication, nonexistent….
I met Alicia the first day at ministry as we where touring the foster houses at Sarah’s Covenant Home. It was the last home we had stopped at, and although I saw a lot of cute, loving children, none stood out as the one I wanted to spend my one-on-one time with in the mornings. Then our team walked into her house. The foster mom introduced all the children, and with Alicia’s introduction we where informed that she could not talk. In fact, she did not communicate at all. I felt a tug at my heart, and I knew I had to work with her, there was no question. Maybe my desire could be explained by my sign language background and how I wanted to use that skill on the race, but it was something more. God wanted me to work with this little girl.
The first few days were pretty much the same, I would come in, she would recognize me, and approach me after a little while. We would do in home pre-school together, I would hold her, take walks with her, play with toys, and try to show her a few signs. She learned “please” incredibly fast (most likely due to the fact that I wouldn’t pick her up until she did it) but apart from that, nothing else much. I would try to have her say words, repeat after me, watch me sign, ask her “what color this toy is?” and sign the answer; but nothing really caught on. And, over time, we just decided to chill, and drop the whole “learning thing.” Her foster Mom informed me that being considered an “older kid” in the house, she didn’t get a lot of cuddle time. Which is the perfect job for me!
Although what we mostly did was hang out, we still did preschool daily, she still signed please to be picked up, and I would still try to sign the names of different toys and colors as we played with them. In all honesty, I didn’t feel like I was doing much, hanging out with Alicia was a little flustering at times, but normally fun. A very cool ministry to get me back into the World Race lifestyle.
It was easy to love on this girl, to cuddle with her, to hold her, to put up with the crying and sad faces, to follow her outside only to tell her that “no, it’s not okay to kick the dog…”, it was easy to do these things because God wanted me to be in that role. Never in my life have I felt more at ease with a child, more willing to play in the mud puddle, or more willing to spin her over my head. And when we left India I was devastated. I was a sobbing mess saying goodbye to every one at the foster homes, but even more so when the time to say goodbye to Alicia came.
With the goodbyes behind me it was time to reflect on the growth the month had brought around. Some of my teammates had seen growth in leaps and bounds in their kids and themselves… But I wasn’t at that point. At the beginning of the month Alicia couldn’t talk, and here I was, end of India, and Alicia still didn’t talk… I messed up, I didn’t do enough, I didn’t love strong enough. But then it hit me, I loved the best that I could, and what I couldn’t do, God had done the rest. He had given Alicia the joy she so obviously showed in her face when I walked in the room each morning. God had given her the energy to ride bikes on the roof or take 30 minute walks to get ice cream when I could barely stay on my feet from dehydration. Alicia got the love and cuddles she needed, from God, through me, and I am so thankful He used me in that way, because that little girl enriched my life in ways I could never even begin to express.
And you know what?! She must have been paying attention, because she is starting to not only sign words, but say them. She can name colors, ask for toys, tell you she is thirsty, and communicate like nobody’s business! And now she is even going to school! What a beautiful analogy for the Fathers love! Just as Alicia had been watching me and soaking in the lessons and love I had been trying to show her, I will strive continue to receive the lessons and love I could only get by being in the presence of my heavenly Father.
He has always cared, He will always care, and that, my friends, is the truest of true love.
Love well,
Molly Fae
