February 2014 – Journal / Chazown Notes
When I’m gone, what will people say I stood for? Those without a voice. For those who could not stand for themselves. For those overlooked and shoved aside by the world. I stood for them. For the orphans & children around the world: homeless, hungry & hopeless.
When I’m gone, people will say I made a difference in the world by: loving on the forgotten children of the world. Showing them someone who will never leave & will love them unconditionally. I made a difference by bringing love & hope to those whom the world has forgotten.
The reason I expect God to say “well done” is: I never said “no”. Where he called I went. What he asked, I did. What he said, I spoke. Who he loved, I loved. I was willing AND obedient.
What do you I treasure? What do I stand for? What would I fight for? What do I know is so important that I’ll let go of everything else in order to grasp it? I treasure relationships, people, children. I stand for love. I fight for the children without a voice. I know that there are hurting children out there, kids who’ve never known love — and I’d do anything just to love on them for 5 minutes. To hug them. Hold them. Laugh with them. Play with them. Just to give them a glimpse of what the pure, unconditional love of the Father looks like.
A couple of days ago I received an update from the World Race staff informing me that if I don’t meet this next deadline ($5,000 by May 13th) that I may have to postpone my trip. Immediately thoughts of “did I miss it?” began to circle through my mind. That night, after a close friend encouraged me to give God 1hr of my night, I found myself pulling out an old journal. One I had kept in Ireland, and used primarily for my thoughts, prayers, and ideas regarding my ministry & mission in life.
After frantically filling out page after page, I pushed the journal aside and expected it to flip shut. Instead It flipped towards the beginning where the word CHAZOWN stood out in big black letters. Memories of those nights spent in God’s presence, discovering his will and plan for my life, came rushing back. And as I read those words (posted above) I found hope rising in my spirit, a smile on my face, and a renewed sense of assurance that this was in fact what I was called to do.
The natural theme that appeared again and again over those first few pages, stood out like a sore thumb. Missions. Children. Anyone without a voice.
Nothing’s changed. Sure, sometimes I feel like I’ve missed it. Sometimes I wonder if I’m actually called to missions, or if I even like spending time with children anymore. Some days I want to quit it all and pursue a completely different line of work.
And then it happens, a scared child finds comfort in my arms. A friend asks for prayer. A co-worker is encouraged by my testimony. A toddler hugs me and says “I love you” without prompting. An experience from the mission field brings me courage. And in that moment I am reminded of how incredibly blessed I am that God chose me for these exact moments.
And if that means I will be scouring the slums for orphans, wading through filth to reach a forgotten & hungry widow, walking across a country to find an un-reached village, or abandoning every aspect of life just to introduce someone to God — I’ll do it.
Because nothing — NOTHING — brings me greater joy than to share God’s love with someone who’s hurting and watch as it transforms their life.
33 days & $3,730 before 1st Fundraising Deadline!
