I think back to a revelation I had in Honduras. We had a tin roof with holes all through it. I first noticed the holes when in rained and rained on me but the next morning I saw the light shinning through them. My revelation was simple but true. The holes in the roof where the light was shinning through where shinning lights in dark places. And even in the darkest of places the lights still shine through.
Ok, lets bring it back to Bolivia, the country I have been excited for since I have signed up for the race. I had all these dreams of what it would be like. Then, in late Peru, I found out I would be working at a drug rehab, something I had prayed for since month 1.
The first night here one of the workers asked me if I was excited. I of course spilled by guts out and told them my testimony, my parents testimony, and how I had been praying for this specific ministry. She was astounded and could say nothing more than how beautiful of a story it was.
I was off to the races, until I actually started living in El Alto. The highest city in the world at 14,000 feet took its toll on my body. From restless nights sleep to coughing up blood to all the antibiotics, I was a mess.
A few days later, I headed over to the couples house to hang out with them for the morning. After lunch and a bit of rest we went back over. Its time for board games. Board games are my thing. But wait not just any board game MONOPOLY. I love Monopoly but can rarely get anyone to play with me because I like to play till the very end. I don’t care if it takes weeks, you either are dedicated and into it or not. I will be the first to admit it, I am a cut throat Monopoly player. But my new sweet Bolivian friends tell me their rules and we are off to the races. It was the shinning light to my week.
Not a few days later do I get devastating news that my Aunt Bertha died. I was a mess to say the least. I wanted to be home to love on the family that loved me so well during hard times. I wanted to spend that time to reminisce with my family and all eat together. I wanted to be there with the 30 some odd people my family is. But I couldn’t. For some reason, God had be in El Alto.
A few days later, I get more hard news, my dog Glade also died. It couldn’t be. I couldn’t do anymore emotion. Glade was supposed to great me when I got home. We were supposed to snuggle but he was gone. I wanted to be there for my family. I wanted to eat pizza and cake with them to drown the sorrows away but instead I was here in Bolivia.
In those moments, I hated Bolivia. It was a country that held hurt and devastation. I couldn’t wait to get out of here because I associated death and sickness with it. It was just a country of darkness and let down. I just wanted to be home or at least in Chile. But I was here.
The next night we went to dinner at the usual 8pm and ate quick so we could head home. As I was walking to the door, one of the sisters who is a part of the program scared the living **** out of me. Mind you this sister wont talk to us, she wont smile, she really wants nothing to do with us but in that moment she laughed. She couldn’t catch her breath and not from the altitude but from laughing so hard. She smiled. That smile was a shinning light.
The next couple days are sort of a blur. I ended up in the hospital with my teammate. I had/have a bacterial infection in my stomach. Gross right? And its from the food I was given to eat so that sucks even more. But what could have been seen as a dark time may not be so dark.
I had wonderful nurses who took care of me and snuck me chocolate even though its not in my diet. Shinning light… Also misery loves company and I was so blessed to be stuck in a hospital with Kelly. Kelly, my teammate, laid in the bed next to me and we just got each other. We knew what the other one was going through. Shinning light…
While the shinning lights may come with lots of time in between they are still there. And even in a month that I was ready to throw away I saw the light. I could list you off more of these moments but just know they are there. Even in the darkest times all you have to do is see your shinning lights.
