I’ve never been much of a listener. I’ve always spoken the first words that pop into my head. I’ve always been opinionated. I am a verbal processor. It’s what I do. It’s how, if just for a moment, I put to rest the thousands of thoughts always running through my head.
I have a plethora of words that beg to be spoken.
But if i’m not careful those words can sometimes be too much.
Growing up, I would always finish sentences for my little brother. I found words flying out of my mouth before I even truly knew what they were. I would jump in, before he even had the chance to formulate a response. I would answer questions for him. Say what I thought he would have said. I had so much to say, I had to get it out somehow.
Now, at 18 I find I still finish other peoples sentences. I still speak before I truly know what words are coming out of my mouth. I still have so much to say. I still have a hard time listening. Most of the time when I am, all I can focus on is when I’m going to be able to jump in and say what’s been screaming in my brain.
Over the past two months The Lord has been taking me on a beautiful journey. A climb up a mountain. I am starting to see the top. The beauty that’s on the other side.
Our Abba Father is teaching me to listen.
It hasn’t been an easy process. The plethora of words still run ramped in my brain. I still sit, trying to listen, just thinking about what could or might be said next. Yet through it all I’ve found beauty in silence. Peace away from all the words. A new relationship with my Heavenly Father is in the making. A friendship. One filled with constant communication.
When I was younger, a friendship would be strengthen over a secret. You know when you would whisper in your best friends ear? You would grin, and let out a childish giggle. You knew what was said, was something shared between just the two of you. It was special. It solidified your friendship. Your relationship. It built a mutual trust. A bond that couldn’t be broken. You delighted in the fact you two shared a valuable piece of information, no one else knew.
I think it’s the same way in our relationship with The Lord. He delights in the sweet, still moments where I pour out my plethora of words to Him, and Him alone. It forms a mutual trust. A bond that can’t be broken. He delights in the fact that the two of us shared a valuable piece of information, no one else knows.
Our Abba, Father, Creator, Friend has so much to say if I just in His presence and listen. Beautiful things happen. Wonderful conversations take place. My plethora of words isn’t too much for Him.
I’ve never been much of a listener. However I’m learning it’s ok to not say anything. It’s ok to just sit. To be. To rest. To breathe in the beauty and essence of all He is.
