More often than not I get consumed in the enormity of what I’m doing. I get caught up in what pack to buy, how to set up a tent, fundraising, and the fact that I am going to be a missionary. I get goosebumps just thinking that in a few short months my feet will hit foreign soil once again. I look to the future. I day dream about the World Race.
I think about all the amazing things God is going to do. I dream of all the ways he is going to show up. I imagine all the ways I am going to change.
But the thing is, I’ve dreamt about the future so fervently, I’ve been missing the gift of everyday life. I’ve been oblivious to all the things God is doing right now. I’ve been missing all the ways He is showing up. And I’ve become unaware of all the ways He is working in me right now. I thought I had to wait until the World Race for God to show up. I thought I had to be in a foreign country to hear Him. I thought I had to leave everything for Him to change me.
I was wrong.
Most mornings I would wake up, and count the days before I left. I got jittery even thinking about it. I kept telling myself all the ways God would show up. Excited to meet my squad and do life with 50 amazing people. I found myself saying “when I’m on the World Race….” I was ready. So ready to leave. To go. To find. That’s all I thought about. The World Race consumed every thought in my mind.
I was wrong again.
I thought the present was mundane and ordinary. I thought my adventure started in September.
I was wrong.
I kept comparing my present to what little I knew about my future. I kept looking to the future and missed the irreplaceable memories happening around me. I dreamt about the life I would have, instead of enjoying the life I have right now. My life, in this moment. I’ve missed everyday life.
I’ve missed too much.
I’ve been given a life filled with color, overflowing with mercy, and exuding adventure. I have been given such a gift, this sweet, sweet life I have. For so long I didn’t realize just how precious it was.
Don’t get me wrong, I am so excited to be going on the World Race. I am blessed beyond belief by this opportunity. The thing is I should be excited, and I am. I just let it consume every thought. And because I was thinking like that, I missed too much.
Yes, the World Race is an adventure, but so is everyday life.
I looked to the future like it would change my idenity. When in reality the only one I should have been looking to was God.
I spent so much of my time talking about my future when I should have been talking with God.
I searched for answers about my future in old World Race blogs, when all I had to do was open my bible.
Instead of letting the future consume me, I should have let God consume me.
Instead of spending these last few months state side day dreaming, I should have been living. Truly living. Deeply rooted.
I have 129 days before I leave for 9 months. 129 days to laugh harder, stay up later, run further, grow deeper, sing louder, pray harder, and enjoy more. I’ve looked to the future too much lately, and I realized just how much I’ve missed.
