This past weekend, those of us that are part of the Worship Track of CGA were sent on a worship retreat. It wasn’t really an option and all we knew was that we would be hiking and camping and gone from Thursday to Sunday. Now for those who know me, you know that I think nature is beautiful and wonderful, but…camping isn’t necessarily my idea of a good time. But, one of my giftings in life is obedience and if those in authority want me to do something, I will do it and try to have a good attitude.
My idea of camping means a nice tent or trailer of some kind, a cooler or two full of fun things to eat, and a nice toilet close by, even if it’s not the cleanest. This is not the kind or camping we did. This camping trip was designed to challenge us and take us out of our comfort zone. First off, we had no information. We were given a short list of what to bring, and since that didn’t include toilet paper, a tent, or snacks….with my mindset, I naturally assumed that meant campsite with toilet and tents provided with food to prepare. What it actually meant was a tarp for all of us, a rock to dig a hole for a toilet and trail mix as the main staple to eat (ps…they did give us toilet paper).
The first day consisted of being picked up after lunch on Thursday and being driven to an undisclosed place in the Mountains of Georgia (We later learned they filmed Deliverance in the same general location). After being told I packed too much – twice – we geared up and started hiking for an undisclosed amount of time. Once it started getting dark, we made camp and sat around a fire. We were all wondering about the food, but nothing was said and we went to bed wondering if we were going to eat breakfast. That night, tempts dropped to freezing and all we had were our clothes, each other, sleeping bags and a tarp. The next day we received no breakfast, but after we packed up camp, we were given a bag of trail mix and some granola bars and told that was breakfast and lunch for the next three days. So off we went on another adventure not knowing where we were going or what it would look like. Well what it looked like was lots of hills! It was hard. I am not in shape at all. Add that to my little love for hiking and the fact that I am almost 10 years older than everyone else on the trip, plus being cold and stiff from a night on the ground, and you have a difficult situation. Too difficult actually.
Honestly and candidly, I admit that I couldn’t do it. At one point I had some kind of either panic attack or asthma attack. My body was giving out and I knew I wouldn’t make it and all of a sudden, I couldn’t breathe. I was hyperventilating and wheezing. Our leader insisted on carrying my pack and I broke down crying from humiliation. It’s not easy being helpless. It’s not easy admitting weakness. It’s not easy coming to the end of yourself in front of others. We spent several more hours hiking and taking many breaks on my behalf. Each time we stopped, I had to face the humiliation over and over again. Though I didn’t have another attack, everyone wanted to make sure I didn’t have another one. Honestly, I really don’t think the others minded the stops for the most part, but it did make for a longer day than necessary. Eventually, we did stop at a nice spot to set up camp and we had a actual dinner of a type of lentil soup.
The next day, we didn’t have to hike. We got to spend the whole day alone in woods with Jesus. We literally were taken to individual places in the woods and left there. We were told not to worry, when it was time, someone would come and find us and bring us back. So for about 7 hours, we sat in the woods and talked to the Lord. It was beautiful and relaxing and one of the sweetest times I’ve had with my heavenly Father.
So what was the point. Why did we receive so little info? Why did we have to go for so long without food? Why did we have to hike through the mountains as opposed to sitting in a coffee shop or staying in a hotel? Well, honestly, the Lord can speak powerfully to you anywhere, but there is something special that happens when you step out of your comfort zone and do something totally uncomfortable. When you put yourself into situations where you have no control and cannot rely on your own strength, you come to a whole new understanding of surrender. It brings you to a place of dependence and teaches you trust on a level you didn't even know you were capable of living at. It was hard for us to not know how far we were going or when we were eating. We had to trust God, we could psych ourselves up or pep talk our way through. We had to trust. It was hard for some to spend a whole day alone with the Lord. Have you ever done that? It's really hard to hide from the Lord when there is no where to go or anything to distract you. It's hard to be cold, hungry, and uncomfortable. It's hard, but it's good. I promise.
So here is my challenge to you. Do something uncomfortable. Start simple. Challenge yourself to go somewhere uncomfortable, a field, the woods, a friends spare bedroom, something. Find somewhere and spend the day with the Lord. No music, no phone, no computer, little to no food. Just you, Jesus, your Bible, and anything you need to journal. Cut yourself off from everything. See what Jesus would show you if you just stopped the world for one day and gave it to Him. Just try it and tell me how it goes.
