It's been about a month since I was accepted to the World Race, and it has been interesting to say the least. God has shown His favor in so many ways, and in others, He has remained somewhat silent.
First, we praise…..
My God is amazing. As you all know, there are a lot of items that we need to purchase for our trip as well as needing money. These items are quite expensive. On top of the $15,500 for the trip and these high dollar items, we need to purchase travelers insurance, shots, passports, pay our bills, find somewhere to store our stuff, pawn off our animals, and come up with money to live on while we are overseas. If you haven't guessed, it's a bit overwhelming. My race brothers and sisters and I are all pulled a bit tight when we think about it. So when I tell you, that most of my needs have been met, you will understand why it is so amazing!
Thanks to the generosity of people and the providence of God, most of my big items have been taken care of. I have a hiking pack, a tent, a sleeping pad, a video camera, money for shoes and a day pack, and my church is going to buy me a laptop. The generosity of the members of my church and the friends in my life is truly astonishing! Not only have I been given these things, but people are fundraising for me on their own! One friend baked cookies and took them to work and sold them…she raised $30! Ladies in my bible study are having a garage sale and giving me the money. My cousin raised $14 with a few items she threw into her mom's sale, and she is going to give her commission from her Mary Kay sales to me for an allotted amount of time! Still yet, another lady from my church is throwing me a Simply Said party and giving me all her commission from that as well! My sister-in-laws parents are giving me a place to store all my stuff. And though the last few years of my life have been tumultuous and harder than anyone can believe, they have led me to a place where I will be out of my house, and completely debt free by the time I go. And as long as I'm careful with my money, from my job, I should be able to pay for my passport, shots, travel insurance, and have enough money to live on while I'm overseas. All this on top of some $100 gifts makes me SOOOOOOOOOO grateful. It is truly humbling that people have felt compelled to give and to work to help me go. Plus, I think I have half the world praying for me, so you would think I was on cloud nine right!?!
Now we confess…..
This weekend has been rough. As I read the posts of my brothers and sisters, it has been truly rough on all of us. I really feel we have been under a spiritual attack. Trust me, I don't say that lightly. I honestly feel way too much credit is given to the devil. Satan is real and is our adversary, but I believe most of the time it's easier to blame Satan than to admit we are sinners and we sin. We wrestle with the flesh daily and we have to learn….some of us have learn the hard way. But as I read posts I realized we were saying the same things. We all have people who don't support us and tell us we can't do it. We all worry about money. Honestly I think we all fear looking stupid if the money doesn't come in and we have to go back to our lives feeling like failures. It's hard to be patient when you're surrounded by an audience waiting to see if you fall or thrive. I've been discouraged this weekend. Reading what I wrote above makes me mad at myself for giving in to such a tactic. But I guess pride is the biggest hurdle that most of us face.
What did I learn……
I have learned to be still and look. God is providing. In ways I never expected, through means that He orchestrated in such a way as to be simply mind blowing. It's crazy, but for this weekend, I forgot my favorite verse about Satan (odd to say – I know). 1 Peter 5:8-11 "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, Who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen" I listened to the lion this weekend and became afraid. But my God is gracious and patient and everyday He is making me stronger, more rooted, and more steadfast.
To my brothers and sisters on the Race….
When people are cruel and discouraging to you; when they don't support you; when they doubt what you are doing, please remember, it is not you they are rejecting; it is Christ. Even if we don't reach our financial goal and cannot go on this trip, it is not our failure. It is up to God if we go. He can choose to send us and He can choose not to. He may choose to use us like many of the prophets of old to show His people how hard their hearts have become. If so, then we stand strong and praise Him, for He is good and His mercy endures forever!
