When I signed up for this race- I knew without a shadow of a doubt that God was about to rock my world. I knew that it was going to be one of the most bittersweet rides of my life. But when I realized all of this, my mind automatically went to life on the race, not neccessarily life prior to the race.
Well, let me say God has really taught me a lot about life. Things, I'm embarrassed to say, I probably wouldn't of, (but should of) learned if I would not have signed up to do the world race.
Let me preface by saying- I have always tried to live life with eyes wide open. Always trying to appreciate the little things, being observant, being tuned in to the world around me, listening, and being available. However, in the midst of trying to do all of these things, God has really opened my eyes to one thing: being present. This little dose of reality came about with the realization that I am going to be gone for 11 months. You say "yeah, goof- that's what you signed up for", and yes it is what I signed up for and am so thankful I did, but it also means that I am going to be missing a lot of things back home for those 11 months. While I am content with the fact that I am going to be missing events, moments, and milestones to spread the love of Jesus- I don't want to take for granted the time I have, here and now. I say all of this, to say this: I can be available for people all day long, I can listen to them until the sun comes up, I can observe until my vision is gone, but if my heart and mind isn't in the present moment- I'm really just going through the motions and not really living or appreciating the people or the moments I have been given. World Race or the daily race, the people we encounter deserve our attention and time
This seems harsh, and it was a harsh realization, but it's really challenged me in a positive way. I am learning to fully be where I am in life. Even if it's uncomfortable, even when it's really hard. I am learning to put my phone down when I am with people, to look them in the eyes and talk to them. Even when they are saying things that hurt, and even when the things they say are heavy. I am being awakened to the fact that not every conversation is going to be heavy, lots of them are full of so much joy and so much silly. I am learning too, that not every situation is going to be tough or messy, in fact most are simple and happy.
"So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalms 90:12
So with this said, I'm learning to breathe deep.
Learning to show up each day, and fully be where I am.
So incredibly thankful for these days.
