You know you’re in a Guatemalan hospital when…
Before giving your name, the first thing you do is hand over
a stool sample in a baby food jar
The doctor sticks an IV in your hand without getting any
background information from you
You realize after your IV is in you still have your
sweatshirt on
The waiting room is also your bedroom
You get goody bags and one of the items in the bag is toilet
paper
There are 6 patients total in your room
Your bed is on the floor
The nurse doesn’t care if you share a bed with another
patient for the night
Your sheets don’t match and they have the last patient’s
dried blood spots on them
You get served cooked bananas for supper
The bathroom in your room is out of order for 30 minutes
while one of the workers leaves to buy a replacement pipe for the running sink
Patients from the other room come through your room (with
IVs in tow) because your room has a bathroom
Blood starts making it’s way out of your IV and the nurse
laughs and says “No problema”
If you need the nurse you just yell, “Jackie”
The nurse does her rounds at night with a flashlight and
times the drops of your IV with her cell phone
The doctor greets you in the morning by saying “hola amoeba
party!”
The head nurse waves you good bye, she tells you how much
she will miss you and to look her up on facebook
YES- I was in the hospital! My whole team and I had a parasite and some people had worms… So after getting an IV, meds pumped into my body and spending $350. I am CURED! PRAISE GOD! Being in the hospital was my favorite past time in the hospital- on the World Race!
