I’m scared to tell everyone. Actually, scared is quite the understatement. I’m actually terrified. I keep digging up reasons not to tell. Prolonging the process, procrastinating.
Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door
Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door…
I’m listening to Andrew Bell’s version of Guns and Roses’, “Knockin’ on heavens door.”
And as I listen, I feel like that’s exactly what I’m doing.
“Father, if I start telling people, if I tell people what you’ve shown me, and if I tell people the desires you’ve set in my heart, you really have to come through.
YOU HAVE TO COME THROUGH, LORD!
I’m going to sound crazy. I’m gonna look like a fool.”
I’m knock-knock-knockin’ on heaven’s door…
Waitin’ for the good ole’ Lord to open up to tell me; “It’s okay, I’ll come through for you. You don’t have to tell anyone until I do…
I don’t know if you know, but the Lord never let anyone take the easy road, and well, to be perfectly honest, with Him, there is no easy road. It’s a straight and narrow path. It’s a slippery slope. It’s Mount freaking Everest and that’s why I love it.
There is no easy way out. There isn’t a safe, nicely paved back road to take; there is no Dorothy and the yellow brick road to lead us into the great Emerald City.
No, but there is a road called Jesus and to be honest, it doesn’t look like a road at all; it’s more like a hand that takes yours and pulls you out of complete blindness. He tears your heart and soul from the bitter, stinging darkness that you didn’t even know you were immersed in, and out of his loving grace and mercy, he leads you into the light and all of a sudden you can see a whole lot more. But it still isn’t as clear as you would want it to be. You know you won’t ever see it all clearly until death approaches, until you’re face to face with him, until your able to wrap your arms in his and hear the mysteries unfold into perfect sense.
And this, my friend, is where faith comes into play.
“If you never tell people how am I ever supposed to come through and deliver you? I can’t come through, my dear, if you don’t let me. By keeping this to yourself you keep my glory for yourself as well.
“Miranda, why won’t you tell anyone? Don’t you trust me?”
So,what better way to step out into faith than this.
Trust me, I don’t know the details. I don’t know the times, the when’s, the where’s and especially the how’s…
My hand is in his and he’s leading me but my vision is extremely blurry.
I really have to trust him with this.
"I’ve been scared to tell people out of fear that you won’t come through, Lord. I’m scared it’s all in my head and if I tell these people the plan and it doesn’t come through, I’ll look like a fool."
And then I remembered ISAIAH 54:4:
“Do not fear for you will not be ashamed; neither be disgraced…”
AND
PSALMS 25:3
“Indeed let know one who waits on You be ashamed.”
As I write this, PSALMS 130:6 hit me.
I will wait for the Lord more than the watchmen wait for the morning…
I love this verse, it’s one of my favorites and it’s a promise to the Lord I made so long ago. Now he’s calling me to live it out in this area of my life and I have been too scared to follow up on my side of the deal…
Well, throwing that out the window!
THE LORD WILL COME THROUGH…no matter how long I have to wait.
No matter if I look like a fool to the world or not
Because after all, people thought I was a fool for wanting to raise $15,500…
PART 1 OF 2…..STAY TUNED.
