Worship.
I love to sing. If you asked me my ultimate dream (I mean dream that will only come true in my dreams), I would not hesitate to say 'be a star on Broadway.'
There is one problem… I can't sing well. (It usually doesn't stop me though, just ask my friends.)
I'll make a joyful noise to the Lord all day every day, but I have no confidence in a "good" singing voice.
However, when I started this month one of the possible ministry jobs we had was worship. My spirit started to get really excited.
When I was younger I sang in a talent show in front of hundreds of students. I got chosen to sing. I mean this wasn't something all the kids got to do. You had to try out and everything. And I did well.
I had a confidence about my singing, then I grew up a little more and moved to rural Missouri. During a Christmas play, I hit a wrong note way higher than all the kids. While most parents thought it was an adorable 4th grader mistake, the music teacher came down hard. Any redeeming qualities I found in my singing was demolished.
But a desire to sing with boldness and confidence burns inside of me.
How can I lead worship if I cannot sing like Mariah Carey, let alone Rebecca Black?
But I raise a question:
Is singing worship about sounding and looking good?
Or could it merely be leading people to a place where the Holy Spirit can stir people's hearts?
I'm discovering worship is not the way we sing the song; It's the song we sing. It is the expression of our hearts to bring God glory.
I can do that. I do that everyday. Everyday I bring the Lord glory. Worship isn't singing or playing an instrument. Worship is the position of a raw and honest heart before God. And leading musical worship is guiding people into vulnerability with the Lord.
What's more vulnerable than a girl with a mediocre voice leading a song meant only to glorify the Lord?
God is and has been redeeming my 4th grade debacle.
Not by changing my voice to be an American Idol. Not by having compliments given to me while singing.
He's redeeming my singing voice by changing my attitude and definition of worship.
He's redeeming my singing voice by, alongside my trusty iPad and speakers, leading a New Year's Eve worship by the beach.
He's redeeming my singing voice by growing my confidence that all of this is really just about Him.
He's redeeming my singing voice by calling me to lead people to place of vulnerability to the Lord, maybe even to a place of being a worship leader.
Worship is an expression of praise and adoration to a loving God. It never says a "pleasing to the eye or ear" expression. Just an expression is all it takes to worship.
So let's take worship out of its box and extend grace to those who lead us in worship.
