This month has been exhausting. 

5:30 – bathe kids
6:30 – feed kids
7-12:30 – do school for kids
12:30 – feed kids
1-6:00 – do chores and therapy for kids
6:00 – feed kids
7:00 – put kids in bed

I do everything for them. In school, they don't write for themselves. I take their hand and write for them. They don't cut by themselves. I do that. They don't participate in school. I do that and I don't even know the language. They don't do anything on their own! 

Its exhausting! 

Sitting in school I felt sooooo annoyed by the lack of any effort from the children. I already graduated college I didn't want to spend my mornings in a special education class I didn't even understand the language of. As I was getting extremely annoyed. God spoke very clearly to me.

"you think you're better than these children of mine because you could go through elementary school, junior high, high school, and college without someone holding your hand while you cut out a picture? You are no better than these children. I have to hold your hand through every trial you go through. Every heartbreak you go through I have to guide your speech. Do you really think you do anything without me?" 

Talk about some humble pie. I was gently fed a pretty big piece. 

How could I be so confident in myself. I did nothing on my own. I know this spiritually, but because I do some silly earthly things on my own, I thought I was the cat's pajamas. And now I realize…

I am no better than these children!

So today be thankful. Be thankful you can tie your shoe on your own, but be humble cause really that might be all we are doing on our own.

"Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land. "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit." The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? "I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds." (Jeremiah 17:5-10 ESV)