India… It is smelly, it is crowded,
it is crazy hot, and I LOOK LIKE EVERYONE. What? I never look like
anyone. This would be where my small identy crisis started in India.
With the color of my skin. I love the color of my skin. Everyone who
knows me knows that. The truth is though I often forget I am not
white. All my friends are white, my church community is white, the
places I live are full of white people. I assume that I am white
until I walk through the streets of India. Then it hits me, I AM NOT
WHITE. Why am I not white. The truth is my parents are not white. So
I am not.
When I was 17 years old, I found out
that my dad, was not my biological father. CRAZY. Right? To be clear
he is my Dad. I love him deeply. He was there the day I was born and
has been around ever since. Simply just asking who my biological
father actually is, really is not an option. My mother is the only
one who knows for sure, and she had a stroke when I was six. She
doesn’t really have memories of much. Also because my mom had a
stroke when I was so young, I really don’t know my mom as a normal
person, with interest and hobbies, and a normal personality. As you
can see this leaves a lot of questions. It is crazy how one
realization can lead to so many questions. I have had these questions
for a long time. India just made me come face to face with them.
Question #1:What is my ethnic
background? I am ½ Mexican (thanks mom). I could be anything.
Probably not white though. You see I am darker than most Mexicans
that you will meet, and my mother especially. Lots think I am Indian
or Arabic. My adopted family the Griffiths call me the Mexaranian
princess. I think it fits well. The truth is I could probably blend
in any culture where there is brown skin. I always question and joke
about this but it has never been a reality until I was surrounded by
Indian people. As I walked past Indian men I would secretly wonder if
any of these men could be my father.
Question #2: What hereditary curses did
I pick up and did I pick anything up from my dad. I mean I am not
biologically his but can I still inherit things from him? If so do I
have 3 times as many issues. How do I fight things I don’t even know
about?I know that some of you don’t believe in hereditary curses but
scripture is clear you can inherit the transgressions of your
parents. I also know I am being a bit dramatic, and irrational. Hang
in there with me.
Question #3: Am I going to get cancer?
I know again dramatic. You have to talk about the medical history of
your family when you go to the doctor and now my answer is… I don’t
know…
Question #4: Who do I look like? Who do
I act like? Where do I come from? I know this is three questions. I
can count. But they all come back to the same root. I know I look
like my mama. She is beautiful and has aged awesomely. I am
definitely hoping on inheriting that. There are somethings I have
obviously inherited from her and then there are some things I
obviously have not. I know I got my brown eyes from her, my face
shape, and my almost too sassy attitude. Notice I did say almost.
This is the answer the Lord revealed to
me. I AM A DAUGHTER OF THE MOST HIGH KING. My parents were given to
me for a reason, with a purpose, to make me uniquely me. My
uniqueness helps me fulfill my role in the kingdom. BUT everything
about me can change with one simple whisper from my creator. I am
made in the image of a holy God. So I must look like Him. If I follow
Christ and lay down my life for Him to love like Him then I must act
like Christ. I come from dust, and the breath of the creator keeps me
living. As far as hereditary curses and cancer go, I am a new
creation in Christ and all of that was over come by the cross. (Today
is Good Friday. Kind of perfect I think). I have all authority
through the cross to walk freely and live abundantly. I just need to
get over my questions, and seek out what it means to be a daughter of
the most High King and what it looks like to live out this truth.
