Training Camp: 2 of 3
We arrived at a new campsite, and everybody sprang into action. We had to survive the night with no tents, only half of our packs, and some rope and tarp for shelter.
Paris, an outdoor leader/ Bear Grylls incarnate, started tying knots. Given enough time, I think he would have built running water and internal heating into our shelter.
Ryan pulled a hand saw out of his incredible beard, and then he and Sean were breaking down trees and dragging them back to Mike F, who made chopping wood look like an art.
Here’s Ryan. The man knows how to beard.
The girls split up to cook dinner, help set up shelter, and build fires.
I paced. It was a big campsite, but I could only walk in so many circles before I didn’t know what to do.
The guys were being men, and I felt useless. I couldn’t think of any scripture that calls for twiddling your thumbs.
Paris and I had discussed the concept of flow earlier that day.
Wikipedia defines it as
“the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does.”
I saw that one thing each of those guys had in common was that they were flowing. There was an incommunicable understanding that they were all in the zone, and had utter confidence and enjoyment in handling their current tasks.
I think there’s something sacred in that flow. There’s no ego involved, just humble appreciation of strengths and weaknesses; there’s courage to fully embrace whatever life presents in a moment-by-moment basis. It evokes understanding of community, dependence, and an abundantly fruitful connection to God.
I thought of 1 Corinthians 12 “Indeed the body does not consist of one member but many.” (1 Cor. 12:14)(only one verse, worth reading the whole chapter). I looked at the men and women around me and saw that they each filled a separate role in our collective body.
I did not need to Google “how to be a man”, but instead I needed to figure out, “how can I find my flow?”
We were going to have some acoustic worship that night, which is typically followed by preaching in a service.
I had a thought – You need to preach tonight.
I have experience public speaking, but I had never preached before.
It will suck, was the next thought.
“Okay, okay. I don’t know what to say or preach on, but I’m willing to do it, so you better show up here and help me, you sadistic bastard.” Note: I’m not perfect, and I’m not always happy with God’s plan. I can even get whiny and entitled sometimes, but he knows how I feel and what I think anyway, so I try and shoot him straight when we chat.
I took a few deep breaths and began a more reserved, productive conversation with God.
“I’m sorry, I got a little heated. I’m nervous, and I don’t want to talk in front of these people who I still don’t know all that well. I don’t know what to say and I’m telling myself that I’ll look like an idiot. Please just walk through this with me. Help me feel your presence.”
A sense of ease came over me. I sat down with my bible and head lamp, prayed, and got to work
I thought I may need some notes to help me, but ended up with this—
Planning and organization have never been my strengths.
I had just enough time to figure out what I was going to say before we started worship. After 20 minutes of being lead by some amazing female vocalists, we started to sing “Down to the River to Pray”. An undertone of melodious repetition seeped into the atmosphere. The quiet thumping of feet on solid dirt between verses carried into the stillness of the woods. The song wound down and the camp fire crackled in silence.
“Mike, you ready?”
God, just help me be okay with however this goes. Help me remember that this is for you and not me. But seriously, please let this just not suck.
“For sure. Let’s pray first…”
I won’t try to transcribe what I said, because I don’t remember a lot of it. I shared some embarrassing stories, and some heartfelt ones, and discussed some scripture. People laughed, and said “amen,” or “that’s good,” a lot.
One interaction stood out in particular. Someone came up afterwards, unprompted, and said “Thank you. I was struggling with being here and you reminded me of some things I really needed to hear.” It had nothing to do with me. I made myself available to step into a role and I let God do his work.
That is how I see each of us. We are all called to love each other, but we are uniquely qualified to do so. I could not have built an A-frame with 6 different knots, and I would have been fairly inefficient at chopping wood. I will be able to reach people in a way that the others cannot and each of them will be able to reach people in a way that I cannot.
I have been trying to apply this experience on a daily basis. Sometimes I convince myself that there’s a certain way that we are supposed to help people and I need to change myself to fit that mold. But scripture is pretty clear that this is not the case. We each have unique gifts that can play off of each other.
My challenge is this – don’t try to fit yourself into someone else’s role, but find your own. How are you uniquely qualified to love God and love others? Who can you reach that I cannot? Find your flow.
