Brothers and sisters, I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly—mere infants in Christ. 2 I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. 3 You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans? (1 Corinthians 3)
This verse speaks volumes for the “Christianity” that I lived in when I was 17. I’m not going to analyze the letter that I wrote 5 years ago; instead I will use it as example of my poor attempt to follow Christ. At the age of 17 I had been a Christian for almost 10 years. I was still living on spiritual milk using some verses from the bible, and discarding the ones that made me feel uncomfortable. Ultimately, I was living a life with the greatest commandment being love myself and others, and the second greatest commandment being love the Father.
My life was not filled with the Holy Spirit! In fact most Christians that I knew were almost afraid of the Holy Spirit. I thought it was crazy when ever someone would talk about healings, prophetic words, and etc. My relationship with the Father was weak! Before Jesus ascended to Heaven he told his disciples that it is better for Him to leave so that the Holy Spirit can come. Jesus gave the Holy Spirit to us!!! I called myself a follower of Christ, but I quenched the Holy Spirit with my lack of belief. Jesus said, “The world cannot accept him(Holy Spirit), because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.” (John 14:17). The world cannot accept him! So I was living for the world therefore I did not accept Him. It breaks my heart that I could say I was a follower, but yet be so far from the Father.
Fear was a huge factor in most of my decisions. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18). Before starting the race I let fear keep me away from ultimate surrender to Christ. I feared leaving school to become a missionary because of my reputation, my future, my family, my success, and just me. It was uncomfortable to leave the worldly things. I wanted security, but God promises it over and over again and I doubted His word. I feared talking to friends, family, and strangers about Christ because of conflict, their feelings, and myself. In reality I decided that those things were more important than them receiving salvation, and ultimately the greatest love from the Father. I believe that this is a struggle in the church that we only follow Christ when it’s convenient for us. We step aside from Godly love to show someone earthly love. We don’t pray for healing because that doesn’t happen anymore. Sometimes I want to ask others and myself the question, “Have you done greater works than Christ?” Wow is this blaspheme? No because of what Jesus said, “Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.” (John 14:12).
As I get ready to come home I’m setting fear to the side, and saying that I am not going back to the University of Alabama to finish my senior year. In saying this I’m not challenging others to drop out of college because we are called to be disciples everywhere. In my case I’m not going back because God has captivated my soul, and I have given myself over to Him. I want to glorify God with everything that I have. Some might say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. 19 You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble! 20 But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead? 21 Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar? 22 Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect? 23 And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend of God. 24 You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only. (James 2:18-24).
I pray that the Holy Spirit comes upon the Christians as it did at the Pentecost. That we will all be speaking the same language, have the same love, and all be following Christ with everything we have. Greatest Commandment: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul. If you believe this then lets give everything over, and hold nothing back because He is worth all of it!
