We all know that Jesus leads, but what happens if we actively put ourselves into situations where we are absolutely dependent upon Him for our next literal step?
I spent time in silence this afternoon, asking God what He wanted me to do. I wrote down what came to mind:
“I’ve got work for you”
Earbuds exploding, saltine crackers, and an orange.
“You’re going to Moscow”.
“ok Jesus, this makes absolutely no sense, so I’m really hoping that someone else on my team got something else.”
I walked outside and met two of my teammates and we compared notes.
One teammate had gotten a picture of a hungry beggar she had seen earlier, and the other had gotten a jewelry booth south of our hostel, so at least we had a direction and destination. On the way, we bought saltines and an orange because we had no idea what God wanted us to do.
Walking down the street, we didn’t know where to find this man, so we prayed individually as we approached the intersection and my teammate and I both felt led to go left. Anyway, we found the jewelry booth and the lady there, but couldn’t find the hungry man anywhere. After asking the lady at the booth, she explained how he only came in the mornings and wasn’t sure where he was now.
A bit confused, we asked if we could pray for her, after all, we had been led there. The lady replied that her mother had fallen and broken a few bones so we prayed for her and went our way.
As we started walking home, a man sitting against a building caught my eye. There are hundreds of beggars around, but this one caught my eye. As we walked past, I saw that one of his legs was bloody, green and black, and twice the size of the other in addition to a piece of wire that was thrust through his ear and through what looked like matted blood in his hair.
I stopped our team and turned around to go talk to him. As we approached, he glanced at us then rather menacingly held up a bloody kebab skewer that he had in his hands. A little unnerved I introduced myself and waited for the translation to finish.
No response. The man looked dead ahead refusing to make eye contact, still pointing the spike at us.
“Can I pray for you?”
The man stopped waving the spike and rested his hand on the ground, but still no response.
Finally, out of desperation and awkwardness, I offered him the crackers we had bought.
The man glanced at me and suddenly, springing to his feet runs away from us further up the street till he is out of sight.
Confused, I turned to my teammate whose job was working with people who had mental problems and he said: “I’ve seen crazy, and that wasn’t it; that was something way bigger than crazy.”
We resumed walking home when we passed him again. This time he was standing in a water fountain, talking to himself and digging into one of many open wounds on his leg with the skewer. We walked a few steps further when were led to stop. We didn’t know what to do, but we knew we couldn’t leave this man. Stopping to pray, we asked God to lead us in what He would have us do. Unknown to us, my teammate had read that morning about the demon possessed man who came to Jesus. During our prayers, God reminded him of this and also told him the man’s name was Michael.
“So, God reminded me about the story of the demon possessed man who came to Jesus of his own accord, and considering that man is now standing behind you, I think we know what we are supposed to do.”
Whipping around, I saw the man, not ten feet behind us. During our prayer, he must have walked the entire block to catch up with us.
He walked up to us, looked straight at us and said in Spanish “My name is Michael” and kept walking.
It was as if God flipped a switch. This man needed help, this man needed Jesus, and we had been led to this. No more could this be construed as coincidence, this was God telling me to go.
Instantly we were bogged down by people. People telling us that we couldn’t help him, distracting us, etc. Furiously, we pushed past, trying to catch up with Michael. A mugger stepped out from nowhere and asked my teammate for money for a drink. My teammate explained that he had to go, that he was trying to catch up with Michael, and the man backed away, looking at him like he was crazy.
In the middle of a courtyard we caught up with Michael, and his entire demeanor had changed. He was friendly and talkative, though obviously crazy. We sat down with him and started talking to him. He was talking in Spanish so I could barely understand, when suddenly the man reaches down and wipes the blood and pus from his leg onto the skewer and holds it about 6 inches from my friend’s face.
My mind raced as I couldn’t tell what was going on, whether this was just crazy, or if I needed to tackle him in defense of my friend and risk destroying the work God was doing. I honestly thought this man was going to stab my friend.
“Do you know Jesus?” My friend asked Michael.
The man’s eyes flashed with anger, pain, hatred, sadness, and confusion. Resuming digging into his leg, he didn’t answer.
“Why do you do that?”
“The voices tell me I need to, they’re happy when I do”.
“Jesus, please tell me this is just schizophrenia and not what this sounds like, please” I prayed.
There wasn’t much else we could say or do, so we offered to pray for him again. This time, still with flashes of anger and pleading in his eyes, he let us pray for him.
I’ve never prayed before like I did today. I’ve never seen need so evident. So much pain and suffering at the hands of what I can only assume was the power of darkness. I prayed for healing, both of his body and of his heart, and prayed that whatever spirit may have been oppressing the man would be cast out.
We finished, gave him the crackers and a bottle of water and went our way.
Ours was not the only story today. There were many others as we all stepped out and were led by the spirit. One saw a vision of a black lady in a white dress near a specific building, found her, and shared with her the message that God had given her in her vision. Another encountered a lady who was completely wasted. She was drunk to numb the pain of a life which has beaten her to the ground. A lady in such pain that when told “Jesus loves you” replied with a scoff “That’s nice, but where is he?”
I don’t really have a point to make or a message I’m trying to convey; but God opened my eyes today to suffering like I’ve never seen before. Today’s ministry was totally different than the fluffy, comfy teaching of VBS or preaching an evangelistic message. Today’s ministry was led by God directly, and this is what He wanted to show us. The pain and suffering of a world without Him.
Perhaps that’s what God wanted to show me. Perhaps He was showing me what ministry looked like when you literally asked him “ok God, do you want us to go right or left here?” Perhaps He wanted me to learn to trust Him implicitly when my safety was in question. I don’t know, I don’t have those answers, I just wanted to share this with you.
